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Stark Realization
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Stark Realization |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief 
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Days of blind sight. Deaf to the light, in the darkness of the sun. Voices keep calling my name, just forgotten seekers of the same. Families poor and cold, the elders drifting in memories so old. Bight eyes stare into my soul. Red eyes of persecution, haunting my nonexisting goal. With myself, the only one to blame I cast down others in hate's flame. No one to reach out to, there is no door to escape through. Not an ounce of respect left, not for you or myself. Things never seem to go right, too far gone, too deep in plight. Nothing left to do, no where else to go. Where have I been? Living on the tattered edges of trust, just off the cliffs of belief. I can't believe. I don't believe in myself. Don't believe in me. You can't believe. Trust nothing, fear everything fear nothing, trust everything And all of this occurs to me, wraps around and surrounds me, walking away in the twilight of day with everything around slowly fading to gray. There is something inside me and I know it's good, but understanding is misunderstood. |
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| © Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Effigy~ Wow! this should go over in Dark Passions! Loved it!  -SEA |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
"Deaf to the light", "just off the cliffs of belief". You have some very vivid images in this piece, but it's a bit immature. To me the entire piece was an excuse to slip in the lines "Trust nothing, fear everything/fear nothing, trust everything". It's an urge I can't understand in you. You come up with some great punches, and you insist on surrounding them with nonsensical psychobabble. You have a great punch. Throw the punch and leave out the psychobabble. There is nothing neccisarily wrong with a one or two line poem. |
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