Erudition Of My Soul: What am I fighting for?

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

JoshG
Member

since 2004-11-16

Posts 127
TX, USA

0 posted 2004-11-17 02:45 PM

Step by step
Left, right, left

It’s only been three days,
Since we arrived at the gates of hell.
Marching in time, day after day.

Step by step
Left, right, left

The apprehension is gone,
Words of excitement have been silenced.
The stench of the dead is our daily meal.

Step by step
Left, right, left

Sounds of gunfire, bomb explosions and shrapnel,
Pierce our virgin ears.
Fears taking over what we cannot see, only hear.

Step by step
Left, right, left

Climbing our fateful hill,
Approaching the point of perspective.
Arriving just in time to find our reason.

Step by step
Left, right, left

Clear is the picture in front of me,
A tragic battle for the right to be free.
My purpose is ever so clear to me.

Step by step
Left, right, left

Rushing forward my brothers beside me,
Bullets spearing this wall of flesh.
Upon my back I breathe my last.

In my last moments it’s all clear to me.
The reason I am dieing in a land so foreign to me.
Freedom is precious and this is the cost.
I am simply the next payment of course.
I am honored to die,
And I hope America understands.
I hope that those that love peace
Appreciate where I stand.
To those that live to mock my sacrifice,
I forgive you because freedom was my choice,
I died proving my course.
Today is the day your sons and daughters set you free!

Joshua
(note: this is a series that is posted throughout pip: mature, open, dark, prose and corner)

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

1 posted 2004-11-17 07:29 PM

So much of what a soldier does are tiny steps towards keeping what we have. Its too bad it takes so many of them and so many steps to achieve that.

I love the rhythm of your work.

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

2 posted 2004-11-17 09:11 PM

Your poem started out kind of hypnotic with the repeating lines and portrayed to me a picture that I received as being true to the nature of war. I appreciated the honor and dignity that was conveyed at death and at the end of your poem... "I forgive you because freedom was my choice..." What a super statement this is. I loved it. -Bob

peaceful_dreamer
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 159
SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW

3 posted 2004-11-18 01:53 AM

I really like the left right left effect. It puts a nice touch on the poem.
~*~peaceful~*~

"I'm just me, trapped in a body."

-peaceful_dreamer

JoshG
Member

since 2004-11-16

Posts 127
TX, USA

4 posted 2004-11-18 02:26 PM

Thanks Temp, Light and peace! Its a controversal topic if you live in the US or the middle east. I was just touching on a different perspective. Remember that you can find the entire series in different sections of PIP.

Thanks

Joshua

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-11-21 05:34 AM

war is a tragic event

no one can really know what it's like unless they go to fight

JoshG
Member

since 2004-11-16

Posts 127
TX, USA

6 posted 2004-11-24 11:30 AM

I always am trying to improve my writing and here is my first edit on this piece.

What am I fighting for ? (first edit)

Beat by beat
Step by step
Left, right, left

Three days in the passing,
We arrived at the gates of hell.
Marching in time.

Beat by beat
Step by step
Left, right, left

Apprehension is gone,
Words of excitement silenced.
The stench of death our daily meal.

Beat by beat
Step by step
Left, right, left

Gunfire, bomb explosions and shrapnel,
Pierce our virgin ears.
Fear taking over what we cannot see, only hear.

Beat by beat
Step by step
Left, right, left

Climbing our fateful hill,
Approaching the point of perspective.
Arriving just in time to find our reason.

Beat by beat
Step by step
Left, right, left

Clear is the picture in front of me,
Tragic battle for the right to be free.
My purpose is ever so clear to me.

Beat by beat
Step by step
Left, right, left

Rushing forward my brothers beside me,
Bullets spearing our wall of flesh.
Upon my back I breathe my last.

Beat by beat
No more steps
Until there's nothing left

In my last moments, this picture clear to me.
The reason I am dieing in a land so foreign to me.
Freedom is precious, but this the cost.
I am honored to die,
I hope America understands.
I hope that those that love peace
Appreciate where I stand.
To those that live to mock my sacrifice,
I forgive you because freedom was my choice,
I died proving my course.
Today is the day your sons and daughters set you free!

by Joshua

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.