»
Archives
»
Corner Pub #2
»
coffee stains.
| Corner Pub #2 |
|
coffee stains. |
|
|
IndigoEve Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279Etched in the illusion of time 
|
In the midmorning light of brown silken sun, there are still visions that linger from the night before. She has hesitation and walks, black and brooding, a shadow against muslin sheets hung in tangled knots at the foot of her mahogany bed. Was it full, just a night...before? Drawing upon illusions, the curtains shift nervously as much as her pacing allows them. Be still, she wills it of them, and they obey. But did he obey her when she asked him to stay, a little longer...? Possibility tracing the memories on her lips, she could taste them a day ago, but now, no. No, and zephyrs play across her cheekbones, carved high and blushing deep, deep burgundy in the mildly lit room; she can see them, heavy mirror intricate and hung on the fraying wall beside her, betrays. Blushing deeply from reasons why he would leave and humble her for another morning, though almost too humble this time. Just almost. Lo, whispers are little stories in Celtic rhythms he would rhapsodize, near the way he exulted the night, but everything was drawn in sketches of never and close perfection delicate lines of deliberate lead. He drew her out with his hands. sigh, She commands the air to thin and become docile, weave out the thick aromas he left with her, the scents of them in the room, trailing heavy and light within her eyes. Seeing and smelling and feeling a presence, yes.. she lies on the bed and wonders aloud if these are still coffee stains or something deeper, more profound like the precious white remnant of a human soul mixing needs with her own. the persistent memory of a night once, when all had seemed well. If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Imbued - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
IndigoEve Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279Etched in the illusion of time |
does anyone want to offer me suggestions then? *looks hopeful* If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
   (big angel hugs) God Bless You, sweet friend, I am not the best critiquer at all as I believe all honest poetry is good poetry but I just love the use of figurative language, it makes this so colorful, yay! (smiles) I love it, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
||
|
coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
I felt this was a beautifully written rendition of a woman's "morning after" thoughts. Your Indigo perceptions stretch the comprehensive synapses of the less enlightened, IE. Don't worry, it rocks! http://pub23.ezboard.com/bentrancesandexits coyote  [This message has been edited by coyote (12-22-2003 07:20 PM).] |
||
|
SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
Wow if ever I read something that made me think of two becoming one this was it. wow..No mistaking that. Merry Christmas  Terri~  |
||
|
Purple Poet On Wheels Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 145Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA |
The best poem i've read all year Period. |
||
|
jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
Indigo... My dear...you obviously write from your heart and it shows (and, that is a very good thing!!!). I know I've mentioned it before...but, for a 15-year-old to write with such depth of knowledge and understanding of relationships and desire just blows me away. Please do not ever question your writing...just keep letting it flow. If you want to "hone" the craft for formulaic writing, take some courses or visit the appropriate rooms here...but, heavens...this is an incredible piece of work and I think you should be extremely proud of it. Love and Light...jc This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
