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Sparticus
Member

since 2003-11-15

Posts 245

0 posted 2003-11-16 10:52 AM

Gardenias grow in gardens,
where she roams in girlhood gait;
she whirls barefoot in warm rain,
walks solemnly to rainbow's edge.
At dawn she prepares nightshades;
dusk, she stows tomorrow's light.
Her child runs through flowers.
She lays down, in love, moaning.

Note...this is a variation on the Chinese Seven-Syllable verse. Eight lines, seven syllables each the third and fourth as well as the fifth and sixth are antithetical or they are opposite in some way to each other.

Even with insects-
some can sing
some can't

-Issa

Dennis L. White
Senior Member

since 2000-02-17

Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-11-16 01:26 PM

Sparticus,

A very lovely poem, rich in detail and imagery. Thanks for sharing the info on this form of expression. Well done.

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has passed
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2003-11-16 02:07 PM

(sigh) Oh Sparticus, this is delightful, sweet friend, I am enthralled by this poetic form and you brought such zen into these words! (big hugggsssssss) I love it, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sparticus, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Sparticus
Member

since 2003-11-15

Posts 245

3 posted 2003-11-16 02:53 PM

Dennis:

Upon horizons
of her heart, comes luna
dressed in silk clouds

Mistletoe Angel:

Upon words spoken
a friend becomes golden as
a perfect sunset.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2003-11-16 05:55 PM

Sparticus~

I've been peeking at some of your lovely poetic offerings~
I found this one inspiring ... Tanka-U~

Gardenia fragrance
Wafts on breeze across meadow
Perfuming pathway
For maiden-in-wait of scent
Lingering just long enough~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

Sparticus
Member

since 2003-11-15

Posts 245

5 posted 2003-11-16 06:03 PM

I have long been a fan of your work through a friend that you email to. She always forwards the poems you write, so much about nature and the beauty is so profound in your work.

Thank you for the inspired tanka, lovely work!

Sparticus

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