More Than I Can Bear - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Corner Pub #2

More Than I Can Bear

paraboxer
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 121
Maryland, USA

0 posted 2003-10-20 10:30 PM

(AN: This is a continuing sereis from my poem to My Lili Marlene. I'm a ROTC student so hence the military references.)

More Than I Can Bear

Confused, lonesome, vulnerable and hurt.
To your presence I am infinitely alert.
I put on a brave front to stave of any worry.
Confusion, conflicted emotions in a flurry.

I'm happy that you're happy, yet sad as well.
I wish that it was me, I descended to Hell.
The hurt I feel is more than I can bear.
I feel like a man in need of air.

I wish that September day found you in my arms.
But instead I knew for him were your charms.
I pray for hope, and pray for peace, finding none.
For yet again I'm unloved by my beloved one.

Turned out into the cold cruel world.
Into hell's depths that night was I hurled.
I've spent weeks running all gamut of emotion.
Crashing like the waves of the ocean.

I'm glad we're still friends, for you're unaware.
How I feel, it's more than I can bear.
Yet I fear telling you will drive you away.
This hurt is a price I'm willing to pay.

To keep our friendship alive, the only thing left.
Without it, emotionally I am bereft.
Go to him, if he is who you desire.
Heed not the pain in me it will inspire.

For I am a soldier, suffering be my trade.
I'll think of you in the bivouac shade.
Despite my lonely heartache.
I enjoy our friendship for it's own sake.

Someone like you could light up an entire room.
Chasing off forever all surrounding gloom.
What could you possibly see in plain simple me.
When others more attractive pursue thee.

I'm just the comical, caring friend to you.
Not anyone to date or love, that's why I'm blue.
What could I have possibly been thinking?
As I sit here now, tears away been blinking.

I can't offer you anything except my heart.
Ragged, rent and pulled apart.
But still romantic and willing to give care.
Unrequited love, a tough burden to bear.

Hopefully it will be good enough for you.
Should you desire it, I'll give it all and true.
You looked happy together last night.
Hopefully you will not be cognizant of my plight.

You don't need my little problem burdening you.
You don't need to ask why I seem to feel blue.
I'm the lost man, fighting for a lost cause.
I know you tend to look beyond anyone's flaws.

I need to find the strength to continue the march.
Through a life that the firestorm did parch.
A lonely traveler in a distant land.
Whelmed by suffering of his own brand.

My greatest trial is to come on Crispin Crispian.
Homecoming is a few days away, a festive occassion.
But for me it only conjures false hope and tragedy.
Four years of high school, heart torn raggedy.

I was lead on, deceived, and then later rejected.
I felt devastated, torn and dejected.
Then three years later I met you in school.
Within four months, once again a romantic fool.

Let myself love for the first time in three years.
Renounced all barriers and all associated fears.
But now they've returned with greater strength.
Perceiving to test me at length.

The strength to make it through St. Crispin's Day.
I implore of you Lord, I constantly pray.
It will devastate me to see you together.
I will feel again under the weather.

Once more rejected and unfit to enjoy love.
What did I do to displease you God above?
A bitter pill to swallow, Crispin's feast day.
Crispin Crispian will go by, during the day.

I'll feel fine, but night is when it is worst.
My heart like a dam about to burst.
I feel I've got nothing left sometimes.
But your friendship buoys me at the worst times.

I fear if I tell you I'll lose it forever.
That speak to me you shall not ever.
Fear me is what you will likely do.
Leaving me alone to feel blue.

It's happened to me before, heartbreak.
Saying my feelings brings only heartache.
I'll content myself with being your friend.
Even if it brings me sufferings without end.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2003-10-21 04:39 PM

"You don't need my little problem burdening you.
You don't need to ask why I seem to feel blue.
I'm the lost man, fighting for a lost cause.
I know you tend to look beyond anyone's flaws.

I need to find the strength to continue the march.
Through a life that the firestorm did parch.
A lonely traveler in a distant land.
Whelmed by suffering of his own brand."

(big hugggssssssss) This reminded me so much of the Dixie Chicks song "Travellin' Soldier", dearest friend, I cry each time I hear that song and your poem here made me also cry! (sad sigh) I truly hope she knows that you'll never forget her and I hope she fulfills your gentle request in return! I send angel hugs of support your way, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a bautiufl heart, sweet Carl, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.