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cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

0 posted 2003-08-03 09:05 AM

   The Long Dance

I danced the long dance
through my formative years.
Walked tall in search of a dream.

Now out of step,
my dancing is done,
I stumble into oblivion.



I clawed my way out of  oblivion.
Danced all day long in the sun.
Realised my dreams,

To be peaceful, serene
And  a fervent belief in my God.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2003-08-03 09:21 AM

Cusick~

'Now out of step,
my dancing is done,
I stumble into oblivion.'

This verse was really a clever usage of rhyme~
Enjoyed the read~
Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

2 posted 2003-08-03 09:30 AM

Peace, and serenity in this busy world isn't an easy task that's for sure. You have found that...

Very nice!

Not long ago I read another one of yours and I said I was going to enter one that's like yours, but I can't it's too long. So I am working on shortening the poem.

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

3 posted 2003-08-03 10:58 AM

Thank you very much for your comments Marge and Shararose I do hope you can shrten your poem I find it it is very difficult to edit once I thinl a poem is complete.Maggie

pegasus111
Member Elite

since 2000-07-27

Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa

4 posted 2003-08-04 07:45 AM

I like your style. Keep them coming..

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

5 posted 2003-08-04 07:06 PM

It's never too late to get back in the dance. Joyce

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

6 posted 2003-08-05 08:53 AM

Thanks Pagasis and Joyce. Maggie

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member

since 2003-02-19

Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada

7 posted 2003-08-26 11:22 PM

I like this

very good write keep them comming.

THANK-YOU

Tequilia

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

8 posted 2003-08-27 03:36 PM

Thank you Tequillia for you reply. Maggie

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