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40 Summers
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40 Summers |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
40 Summers The sage is pungent as it slowly burns, I lay next to you, sweet husband of mine, And my body though old, secretly yearns To retrace the steps of a younger time. When I was pretty and with trim hipline. My hair was thick, dark and in heavy braid When I moved like a cat, a stealthy feline. Now forty summers have passed I‘m afraid. With hunted gifts, my father you did woo, As customs state this gave you the right, To come for my hand with no more to do. For you had proved yourself in hunt and fight, You were a Great Chief of honor and might. Your mother came my father to persuade And filled his lodge with delicious delight. Now forty summers have passed I‘m afraid. Howling Eagle, forty summers have past And thirty nine winters are so long gone, How did we manage to make our love last. We weathered the tribes disrespect and scorn When to us, only one girl child was born. Leave her, they said, your squaw you must trade, With dark eyes blazing, you them did forewarn. Now forty summers have passed I‘m afraid. Out of respect for the chief that you are I walked behind you, but not out of fear, And from my heart you have never been far, I have loved you more with each passing year. As have your people, you they do revere Your eternal place of rest has been made It is out of love that they leave you here, Now forty summers have passed I‘m afraid. Great chief, brave warrior, gentle husband, Your spirit walks free now in higher life. Our hearts beat as one on this lowly land I am not willing to not be your wife I don‘t know quite how I will bear such strife. On buffalo skins stretched out you are laid Farewell my Chief, see you in afterlife. Now forty summers have passed I‘m afraid. AND THEY WERE NOT ENOUGH. I be me BUT who does me be? [This message has been edited by SPIRIT (02-15-2003 02:37 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 das - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Very loving write here SPIRIT. I enjoyed this very much. Chris  "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Spirit you are a master story teller, indeed! I was captured from start to finish. Beautiful love poem of a life well lived. Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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lorenlynn Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 203California Beaches |
 Different, but I liked.Wisdom comes with winters. ** Oscar Wilde. |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
SPIRIT: I loved this one! It is so loving and shows such pride in the heritage of the speaker. Great job. Betty Lou Hebert |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Much enjoyed! A wonderful story told here which truly held my attention through to the end. Well done. ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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cupcake Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 116 |
This is great - your imagination at work again I presume. I'm a reader - not a writer. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SPIRIT~ This is simply poignantly penned~ Caused my mind to rush to thoughts of ~My Warrior~, who has just made the Moon-Over Journey to home~ Thank you for this~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Thank you for all the nice comments. Appreciated. I be me BUT who does me be? |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
I humbly thank you for the invitation to stop in and to read your poem here about "40 Summers." Though I appreciate your wanting to become more familiar with meter, stanza structure, and so forth, my opinion about your poem, though not written to the strict standard of a ballade, is that I would not be inclined to change anything about it. Your poem should remain, in my opinion, as written because of the quality as it now stands on its own fine merit being evidenced by so many fine and qualified replies. I agree with the proceeding replies that state that you are a wonderful story teller and that you have a great pride and love for your heritage. If I was to judge what a great ballade would be, putting meter and all that other stuff aside, I would need to say that a great ballade is one that tells a great story... and that, my friend, you have done so marvelously here. (Big Smiles) Though I have not been much help to you here I know, I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to raise the standard a bit for you and in a small way inspire you to write such a fabulous piece of poetry in remembrance of 40 wonderful years of marriage. GOD bless you SPIRIT and thank you so very much again for the opportunity to read and to appreciate your talent as a poet. -Bob |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I am going to figure out this Ballad thing sooner or later - hopefully. This is strictly imagination an attempt to write a ballad. I really will get it right eventually. Thank you for all the nice comments, I appreciate them very much. |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
Bob's statement that a ballad is just in short some kind of story in poem I think is the best "rule of the game" for it - meters and such stuff aside. My first one didn't strictly adhere to the "C" requirement, but since I couldn't think of a refrain for it, left it be. Now yours is a great story, and that's what counts. I haven't gotten the nerve to try again..maybe sometime. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
This is a great poem story. Joyce |
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