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Prices Slashed
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Prices Slashed |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand 
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This poem is in its raw state, an absloute newborn, so any suggestions for improvements / edits are welcome.  Prices Slashed She came to us that afternoon with a proud demanding meowl. She swished her tail and made us look: ‘see Mum, two birds!’ Two baby sparrows, one live one dead – a thoughtful gift. I thought she was the Devil. I called the live one ‘Prices Slashed’ and kept him in a rabbit hutch. I didn’t sleep at all for fear he wouldn’t last the night. Three loving days we spent then I slept in and Prices died. “He would have died anyway.” Mum said. And as I screamed at him and pounded on his arms my brother let the cat into the cage. It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lynne Miura, née Chudley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Oh yes!!!! The CAT sagas continue. What a rotten brother. Interesting read. Thank you. |
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Trillium 
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Lynne: What a painful experience for you to have. I always wanted a brother, but maybe I was lucky! Betty Lou Hebert |
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
brothers can be cruel in youth but usually wind up best friends in adulthood. as for cats, well, it is their thing to bring home little gifts. this may be a rough first write but it is effective. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Please don't blame your brother. The bird was already gone and it was the cat's prey. Nature in the raw, boys and cats are born that way. Love, Joyce |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Thanks all! Well, you have to admit thought Joyce, it was pretty unthinking of him..  Pegasus - yes, My bro and I are good friends now, (even though I'm not an adult yet..  Okies, thanks for reading.. yeah, a lot of ppl are writing about cats!! It's hard not to really, they are such cute little companions.. Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^ |
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jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
Hi, Was that Paul or Steve? Paul most likely. Didn't know he used to be so cruel. Such a shame being his friend So what happened to Prices Slashed later? - James |
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defenestrate Junior Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 46nc, us |
the ends of each of the two stanzas really strike something in me-very nice. edited to make the word conjugations sound vaguely educated. [This message has been edited by defenestrate (02-04-2003 03:05 PM).] |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Yeah, that was Paul, James.. Well, I buried Prices Slashed in the rose garden. I'll never forget how he died though - I just got up too late, and I guess I starved him to death, because he wouldn't take food from anyone else.. I didn't know birds had to be fed so frequently, so sleeping in 'til 11 was too much for him  Thanks defenestrate, I'm glad I affected you! Pleased you liked it-Lynne |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hey, you have been writing!  I'm curious: why Prices Slashed, a supermarket sale slogan as a name? [This message has been edited by kaile (03-12-2003 12:57 PM).] |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Hehe.. well, because he was going cheap when the cat got him.. Thanks Kaile... Yeah, I have been writing a bit more lately, because I have some TIME this year. It's fantastic! I've just finished one called The Voice, which I'll post soon.. Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^ |
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