»
Archives
»
Corner Pub #2
»
9/11/00
| Corner Pub #2 |
|
9/11/00 |
|
|
Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA 
|
Life collapsed,it once was mine. I exiled myself to Manhatten isle. A Castaway and ran away to that place to find some type of solace. Without a home I walked the gritty streets and had no desire to intertwine again with anyone. But then,on September 11th,the year 2000,I met one who saw the desolation of me...and wrapped a blanket of care round my solitary trek, like a beam of solar presence. The routine in my life at that time comprised of lying on the cool grass in Hudson Park,counting the number of planes I could see within my piece of sky...and wondering while I watched those closest to those twin monoliths if there would ever be a time that the unthinkable could happen. I passed through them so many times, passing through the mall that lay between the PATH and D train line, having coffee under their massive shadow, and even having this caring friend purchase a book for me entitled "Journey From Abandonment To Healing" at the Borders bookstore at the WTC, never dreaming that the collapse and chaos that befell and became "ME" would befall so many others to become the worlds largest symbol of abandonment and suffering. I rode the PATH train so many days between Journal Square and 23rd,passing through those fated icons of loss. I even had my friend ask me to try roller-blading for the first time in my life,rolling from 23rd Street all the way down to the towers. I remember how beautiful it was that day,the sun was glorious and upon arrival at the Center, there was a large crowd there relaxing at tables listening to the soothing expertise of a classical guitarist. The final rememberance of NYC's largest symbol is the time I walked through the Winter Garden, past those beautifully huge palm trees, up the escalator,and through a long walkway with awesome views on either side. There in the center was a lengthy photo exhibit... depicting the horrors of other places, people scarred by wars, ones whose lives were exploded or totally eradicated...there...of all places... It makes me think...how many ways can a life, a home,a Heart be destroyed? I pray to GOD for healing...yes,for myself... for all of us. I am now off the streets,but memory of them stays ...along with the rememberance of abandonment, loneliness and loss.Then came 9/11/01. Now...I hold a torch,one that burns for my own Heart,...for the One that turned away,... for all those whose lives were senselessly snuffed out...and for all those whose lives will now never be the same...as mine. Is there someone out there you are neglecting? Is there someone you turned your back on or are not listening to? Do you fly or wear a flag and yet are forgetting that there is someone in your life who you should be honoring...someone who needs your love ...or forgiveness? Is there someone who you know or see everyday... perhaps even one of the homeless (remember... many of them also lost their lives,for many of those ones that I shared homelessness with slept or asked for assistance down in the dark recesses of the subway stations,many of which were part of the World Trade Center),that needs your care, your ear,your time...along with that quarter you have such a hard time letting go of?Chances are, they need your time to care and listen a lot more than that quarter. I write this as one who has survived,even after being jailed for honestly caring for the One who came deepest within my Heart.Long story. I am still affected by the worlds coldness and am amazed at how so many others invent reasons for rationalizing that coldness.Is there a difference between flying a plane into a building and flying one into someones Heart? Hatred and destruction kills and if you survive, its residual effects will last the rest of your life.It turned me into Street Heart. I am back on my feet,even this little bit,but my Heart has not yet healed,for the One I will always Love and miss hasn't the heart to see with unselfish eyes,although I pray everyday... for that change of Heart. What the world needs now is Love,to coin a phrase, and never before as much as now...today. I may never win my Love back,the Truth of that Love is and was the Truest of my life.Now,pride, carelessness,selfishness and denial rule within that Heart I came to Love.What of yours? It is a year after 9/11/01. Who do you honor? Who needs your LOVE? Street Heart [This message has been edited by Street Heart (09-08-2002 11:31 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Geoffrey Sonnen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
You were very close to this tragedy and I am sure it has affected you deeply. I am a little confused since you capitalize your love, I would think you wre talking about our Lord. But I know He did not close you out. My best wishes go with you. Joyce |
||
|
A. L. Becker Member
since 2002-09-06
Posts 167San Francisco, California |
dear Street Heart, i am in awe, that was beautiful, and so touching to hear about your personal memories of the world trade center. i was there once, as a tourist, and i miss it as a symbol of new york's grandeur, but you have shown me another side of that great landmark and those who lived and died there. a wondrous poem. Annika:- "Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?' |
||
|
Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Thank you,Annika and Joyce,for your words.I feel a little wary of sharing this for reasons of either being discredited or being called insane,but the number "11",and primarily,"11:11" have plagued me almost my entire life.I always wondered at the reason for this.Firstly,I came to recognize this "presence",if-you-will,a little more than a week before my mother's passing when I was 16.My best friend from childhood died 11/11/88.The ones I became closest to or had the most signifigance in my life either had 11 in their phone number or address.There is a fellow singer up in NYC who acquired significant prominance in my life and with whom I kept in contact while I was homeless has the last name,"Onzo",Italian for"11".He even shared with me his secret of being plagued with "11" and primarily "11:11"! Then just this last Feb.,I finally tell my sister about this and we wind up shocking each other with finding out that we both have been affected by this.What is the reason?Who can say?And the list does not end there. I had a dream back in Feb.'87.It was a 7 part dream that has been the dream of my life,packed with symbolism that includes the destruction of a skyscraper with the foreboding of war and mass destruction,with the last 3 segments of it finding me homeless and searching.I don't know why these images and symbols were given to me.All I can say is that I believe that many are given messages...and they are either heeded or ignored. LOVE one another,is the main message.And I do want to tell you that my Dream ended in hope.I found myself at the end looking down at my pure white sneakers in answer to a threat...just like the ones that were bought for me while I was without a home,while I was on the streets,...the ones which have the twin towers of the World Trade Center imprinted on the bottom. Peace to you [This message has been edited by Street Heart (09-09-2002 05:50 PM).] |
||
|
CHILI Member
since 2002-09-08
Posts 244 |
BEAUTIFUL! There are no words for me to describe what I have just read. Write on. |
||
|
A. L. Becker Member
since 2002-09-06
Posts 167San Francisco, California |
dear Street Heart, i believe that God occasionally speaks to us in the way you described. Did you hear about the couple who were in Nevada for an event commemorating the loss of a loved one on 9/11 and they decided on a whim to put some money in the slot machine. they won exactly $911 dollars!! Annie:- "Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?' |
||
|
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Hi dear Geoff Sorry for the delay in responding to this, I have though read it many times now and it did sadden me but I know now that you are strong and have been through so much. I pray that your life is alot easier now and that the pain of the past is easing. ~hugs~ Tracie~  Love is the life of the soul... |
||
|
Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Thank you so much,Tracie.That is very kind of you.I'll tell you the truth,sometimes you just can't tell if something is a blessing or a curse.I suppose,just like so many other things in this life,it many times is both.My memory...I really wish that it was not so good.A close friend of mine says that it is photograghic.I wish I could destroy the negatives. |
||
|
ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
your story touched my heart and i am so glad to know you are on your feet now...I still weep over the tradgedy of 9/11...thank you for sharing so much of your life...love is all that matters..ever.....Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
||
|
Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Thank you so much,Ellie.I can't believe you are from King of Prussia.I'll be honest with you,I cannot go there.I spent so many beautiful times with the one who stole my Heart in Valley Forge,passing through to get to Philly,and eating at the Chili's that is there.Just hurts too much.I just moved to Harrisburg to be somewhere that is not wrapped up in memories,but is somewhat close to where I was raised.I feel rather alone here and it is strange to me,but I'm doing OK.I share your tears in reference to 9/11. I am still struggling with denial over it,although I know that it has come to pass.How so many others are capable of rationalizing their hatred and behavior, abandonment and destruction,is beyond my comprehension. Peace to you,Ellie Street Heart  |
||
|
pjtalty Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111W.A., Australia |
Thank you for your comments about my poem, *A Kind Of Death* and for the referral to the poem I have just read. Yours is a powerful articulation in free verse of how you reacted to the experience of losing a cherished love and the effect that loss has had upon your life. The analogy with the tragedy of 11th September works and, in fact, brings the reader into your personal experience in a way that creates the kind of universality that a good poem needs to project. By the way, my poem is not autobiographical. It was inspired by the depth of feeling and compassion I had for a close friend who was consumed by bitterness when he became aware of his wife's infidelity. I tried to counsel him with the objective of helping him to let go of his bitterness. Sadly, even to this day (more than 30 years after the break-up) he still exists in "a kind of death" and a hatred of women. I hope that the writing of your poem has, in part, contributed to your mature handling of the issue and I wish you many years of fine writing and real happiness. You deserve it! Patrick Talty |
||
|
Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Thank you so much,Patrick.The story about your friend saddens me beyond words.You know, much is said about how lives are taken by guns,knives and bombs.What I have experienced and have seen too many times in the lives of others,many of whom have become homeless as a result as I had,is that the heart is a paradox.It is simultaneously the strongest force,yet it is the most vulnerable.How quickly a life can be destroyed by words,by betrayal,by lies, and by abandonment,which I believe is the worst thing that can happen to someone,especially if they already have had enough loss in their life.I am going to include a web address here for others who struggle and for those who know of someone who has been abandoned and/or betrayed.It is a site started by Susan Anderson,the author of "Journey From Abandonment To Healing". Patrick,I hope that this could give your friend some insight,perhaps even a way to work his way to healing.I've had much loss in my life,Patrick,and I do not want to get into all the details about it here,but I just want to say that there is power in numbers,healing in expression,and bitterness only eats you up inside and wastes an incredible amount of time and chances to turn the horrible pain into possible gold, a nugget of that being the chance to help and support others who are suffering and need a friend.Also,that intense immersion into "self" entitled,"bitterness",causes a blindness that does not see the plight of others,ie.,the homeless,and therefore can do nothing about it.We may be wracked with pain,our memories may be keen,our guards may be up and distrust may be strong,BUT there is no excuse to selfishly close ourselves up forever in a festering box,to never truly live,to give,to love others who need our unfettered love.I,as sure as I am sitting here writing this,understand that excruciating pain and everything that goes with it.I even may never know what total "LOVE" is anymore in my life,may never taste the sweetness of it again...but there are too many other things to care about,to give myself too,to work on in order to add even just a little bit of goodness into this plagued world,to just lay down and become a "nothing" that does nothing,adds nothing, lives nothing.God did not make us to lie down and die,he gave us choices...to learn, to give when there are chances,to turn "crap" into things we can't possibly imagine...just as he has,therefore also giving us the chances to do so. Peace,Geoffrey Abandonment Recovery site: http://www.abandonment.net/ If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
