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Open Poetry #8
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Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2000-06-27 01:44 PM


       For just a moment

Rolling thunder rocked my door,
Romped and stomped my bedroom floor.
Roaring in and out my head,
Rudely got me out of bed.

Rain pounded the window pane
Each drop hammered at my brain.
Skies spoke rapine racy grey,
Whispering you are mine today.

Raw energy shunted me,
Up my feet my legs my knees.
Caught me in a vocal roar,
Shook me to the very core.

Dark and dreary brood its mood,
Grumbling, rumbling ugly rude.
And I wailed to make an end,
Be it devil, be it friend.

For a flash I was its goal.
For a flash so felt my soul.


© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2000-06-27 01:48 PM


Wow.. this is beautiful and very powerful. I enjoyed it much!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

2 posted 2000-06-27 01:50 PM


wow, what a description, never read anything that hits so perfectly....great writing
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-06-27 02:47 PM


Rain pounded the window pane
Each drop hammered at my brain.
Skies spoke rapine racy grey
Whispering you are mine today.

Raw energy shunted me,
Up my feet my legs my knees.
Caught me in a vocal roar,
Shook me to the very core.
---------------
For a flash I was its goal.
For a flash so felt my soul
---------------
ya know what Sy-guy??....YOU ROCK!!!!!!!
this is the coolest poem...
on my BEST day I wouldnt come up with a line like...
"rapine racy grey" ...awesome
and as ALWAYS...I could just inhale those
always PERFECT last 2 lines...
these two I could eat with a spoon.
later-storm-gator
jm


baby dont you work so hard
for this prize you've found,
it will all be gone-when you turn around,
cause nothing lasts forever anyway.
Rick Roberts

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2000-06-27 10:54 PM


LoveBug,
Thank you for the read and comment.
Corazon,
Thank you for the great.
Janet,
You rock pretty good yourself.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-06-27 10:56 PM


Wow! Fantastic, Seymour! Wonderful writing!

Denise

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-06-28 11:08 AM


Fantastic indeed,...

hey Seymour, another indredible piece of writing from you, my friend...

regards, sudhir

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2000-06-28 06:30 PM


Denise,
Thank you so much for th e WOW. *L*

Sudhir,
Thank you for the nice comment.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
8 posted 2000-06-28 07:00 PM


A delightful rendention of sight and sound.
jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-06-28 07:03 PM


Seymour~

So welcomed are the rains
pelting earth from sky ...
but when the lightning strikes
I run and hide my eyes !

This is a perfectly wonderful piece
from the pen of a terrific poet !
I could almost feel the thunderous roar.
~*Marge*~





~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2000-06-28 07:42 PM


Wow, seymour, what a rush...and I don't think this has ever happened to me...sigh...
"kicks just keep getting harder to find..."

Smiles to ya.  Love your work...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2000-06-28 11:17 PM


Prometheus,
Nice comment, thanks.

Marge,
Thanks to my favorite poetess. *L*

Serenity,
Love your comments. *L*

Daniel_vv
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 61

12 posted 2000-06-29 12:07 PM


Thoughfully written. Congrads.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
13 posted 2000-06-29 12:14 PM


Seymour~ this is my kind of weather! This is so great! Loved it!   -SEA

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2000-06-29 09:31 PM


Danial,
Thanks for the read and comment.

Sea,
Thanks for the love it.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
15 posted 2000-06-29 10:35 PM


Methinks you've got your very own wonderfully distinctive style as well, dear Sy...
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
16 posted 2000-06-30 08:39 AM


Sweet Nan, Sweet Nan, Sweet Nan *L*
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
17 posted 2000-06-30 10:11 AM


Sensational! I love it.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2000-07-01 09:13 AM


Eagle One,
Enjoyed your comment.

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2000-07-01 09:17 AM


WOW Seymour ... powerfully written indeed!  I could feel it, hear it ... almost touch it (had to look out my window to make sure it was still sunny out there right now).  Wonderful writing!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
20 posted 2000-07-01 10:33 AM


Always had a fear of thunder, don't live in place where it occurs very often, but instead the ground shakes.

You captured the raw power of it so well.

Corinne

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
21 posted 2000-07-01 11:41 AM


WOW!!!! Seymour, this is amazing!!!
What imagery!! What power!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

22 posted 2000-07-01 11:48 AM


Enjoyed your flash of poetic finery, Seymour...always a pleasure.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
23 posted 2000-07-01 03:52 PM


Kit,
Thanks for the wonderful.

Corinne,
Thanks *L*

ESP,
Thanks for the WOW.

Meadow,
Sweet comment, thanks.

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