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Open Poetry #8
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Mint Condition
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Mint Condition |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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I'd had some major problems. I was really feeling down. I gave a call to grandpa on the other side of town. He always had a calming style that made me feel good. If anyone could ease my pain I knew ole grandpa could. I met him in a restaurant in the ritzy part of town. He saw me enter, called my name and waved me to sit down. The restaurant was completely filled and I felt out of place But instantly was more at home by grandpa's smiling face. "So tell me, Mike, what's got you down to make you feel so bad?" So I began recounting all the rotton luck I'd had. I'd lost my job, my girl left town, my whole life was a mess. My cheekbones drooped in sadness and my body slumped in stress. So I began recounting all the things that had gone wrong My voice down to a whimper as I sang my tragic song. I then looked up at grandpa to be sure he heard me well And what I saw made my mouth drop as I said, "What the hell.....?" Gramps had laid down on its side a shaker full of salt And, balancing a spoon on top, he'd made a catapult! He took an after-dinner mint and, with a lack of class, He hit the spoon and tried to flip the damn thing in his glass! I could not quite believe my eyes! I mean, this place had class And there was grandpa flipping mints into his water glass! I almost slid beneath the table. How embarrasing! And, from the looks of other patrons, they thought that same thing. Gramps saw a stuffed shirt watching him with disapproving eye And said, "You think it's easy, bud? Let's see you give a try." The last thing that I would expect at that point came to pass... The guy made his own catapult and tried to hit the glass!!  Another table tried....and then another! What a sight! Before long half the restaurant was flipping with delight! There were groans from nearly misses - cheers whenever someone scored. The tears were streaming dowm my face because I laughed so hard!  The management, outraged at first, at what was going on Joined in because their clientele was having so much fun. They sent pads to each table to be used for keeping score And sent the waiters out to pick the mints up off the floor. The dance band gave a drum roll and, whenever one went in, The leader banged the cymbals with a horrifying din! Free drinks awarded to each mint that settled in a glass And I could not contain myself. It really was a gas! I laughed. Oh, how I laughed! My sides were aching with the pain. I looked at gramp's excited face and then I laughed again. The farce went on for hours and I had laughed so hard I cried! They all bid gramps a fond farewell and then we stepped outside. "I'm sorry, Mike" he told me "but with all this silliness I plumb forgot to listen to the reasons for your stress. Let's have a cup of coffee at the diner down the way And you can tell me all your problems there..so whatcha say?" "You DOLT!", I laughed, "I can't feel sad. You ruined it for me! How can I think unhappy thoughts with such tomfoolery? I haven't laughed this much since I was just a little child! Can't think of sad thoughts right now." "Is that so?", my grandpa smiled. For weeks on when I thought of problems that I'd had that night I thought of grandpa flipping mints and chuckled with delight And, by the time the chuckles stopped and life had moved along, I realized to my surprise my problems had all gone. Since then I've never let events that I can not control Invade my mind in such a way I lose sight of my goal. When problems come from time to time to desecrate my day I think of grandpa flipping mints and smile them all away. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
OMG Balladeer....This is so FUNNY!!!  Thank you for making me laugh once again All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Hahaa,...I love this. I will forever think of this poem now when I am feeling down. haha...too funny. Great work. Thanks. *Peace. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
you're something else...! great lyrical story with a twist wisdom in a rhyme... love it! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Great poem by the great story teller. Very captivating all the way through Loved it Liz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
OH MAN --------  GOD I JUST LOVE YOU BALLADEER!!!!!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL I NEEDED A BELLY LAUGH IN THE WORST WAY TONITE... THANK YOU MY WISDOM FILLED FRIEND you ROCK Deer jm |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mike, Another classic. I know your good at allot of things but your best at this. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
This was just fantastic! I had so much fun reading it, and just can't miss the lesson learned either! Wanna flip mints  Excellent work as always Balladeer! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike, this has such a great message--how do you ever think all the thoughts you think and then write them so well...huh? Please tell me...oh, and thanks for the mood lifter! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
So, you're saying that the answer to life's problems is to flip a few mints? I'll have to remember that next time. Elizabeth I'm grabbing my hat and coat I'm leaving the cat a note Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Jeffrey....it's a pleasure making you smile. Thank you. SpitFire...That's the right idea! Thanks Doreen....Poems are like martinis - better with a twist Liz....any appreiation from you is music to me. Thank you, my friend. JanetMarie...but didya really like it?? You are TOO MUCH!!! Sy...Thanks, my pal. I enjoy this the most, too. Dovey....I'd flip mints with you anytime Martie....beats me. I just let my mind wander and it goes to strange places! Elizabeth...yep, that's it. Reality is for people who can't flip mints! In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
This is so funny I was laughing just as hard as you must have been on that day. Thanks for such a day brightener. Now off to the store to get some mints. lol Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
A wonderful tale delightfully told... as always. *S* |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ You are wonderful ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Dearest Balladeer You've made my day, this is just sooo fantastic Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
LAFFFTEER IS THE BHEST MEDICHINN BALLADEER IS THE BHEST PROVIDEER [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-23-2000).] |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Wonderfully told, as always Bal.. HUSG |
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FlyHigh Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 84Bekkestua, Norway |
Hahahahaha... Superb one... *worship* Geir Jakobsen -- "Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it there will be a fish." Ovid (BC 43-18 AD) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Balladeer's got a bag full of darn cute tricks... when he's feeling sort of sad he brings out one for kicks... now these things he has learned from his dear grandpa keeps most of us all laughing... and me, he leaves in awe! Sunshine ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
Deer, I was feeling  Then I read your poem  Now I am  You are the best...great poem! Marie~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Delightful poem, Michael! Wonderful! Denise |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Geez, I just can't get enough of your writing Balladeer! Funny thing about this one though ... you got a tear from me amongst the many smiles ... for you could have been writing about "my" Grampa here Brought back some pretty treasured memories ... thank you wonderful poet!Best wishes, /Kit |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
I don't know how you do it, Balladeer, but I am so glad you do!! Thanks for the laughs.--You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.-- |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Balladeer you got me laughing good. I loved the whole thing. I'm going to put that one on the fridge. What a brilliant way to handle the subject. What a teacher you are too. I have to read everything you write now. If only I could do that as easily as you seem to be able to write. Linda M. |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
My Deer Sir, I can not even tell you how much I NEEDED this poem, the day I have had would of proubly sent me over the edge but now I am laughing THANK YOU SOOOOOOO much. Love, Cerenity |
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~ViXeN~ Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 93Guelph, Ont. Canada |
Wow! I was feeling really sad today, and have been sitting at the 'puter for 3 hours now, this really made me smile ! thanks! =-) |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Now this man had class, and what a title, I thought it was going to be about a car. but I loved it when you wrote about goals and not letting anything ruin that. Thank you Michael!!!!! Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sig |
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