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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #8 |
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title suggestions please? |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! 
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If I could give you all you've given me I'd do it greatfully 'Cause, girl, you've given me everything I have If I could tell you what you mean to me I'd do it thankfully 'Cause you know you made me all I am You took this broken heart of mine And made it shine like new These lips have learned to smile again All thanks to you I no longer walk with my head bowed low Eyes staring in defeat No longer do I turn and run away When I see you on the street 'Cause you made me realize What this heart is capable of Doesn't always have to Hate You proved that it could Love For this, I thank you with all my heart Though you're no longer mine Life goes on and I know I'll find someone else with time All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lonelypoet Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 123Conklin,NY,USA |
Great poem...Title should be: Old life forgotten |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
A title. how about "healed,"? a wonderful poem, Jeffery. very beautiful. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
How about "Opened My Heart" |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
For this, I thank you with all my heart Though you're no longer mine Life goes on and I know I'll find someone else with time ...excellent sentiments expressed here, my friend... Jeffery, for the title maybe this is appropriate: A gift of Hope... Regards, sudhir |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Jeffrey, Very beautiful and heartfelt my friend. Love the message here. How about "With All My Heart"? LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyable reading...glad this person has touched your life in such a possible way...I suggest a long title similar to Lone Wolf but longer and it is "Thank You With All My Heart". James |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thank you all for the wonderful comments  As for the title suggestions......I was kind of leaning toward "Life Goes On" What do you think? All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
lyrical like a song with a beat! Corinne |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Nicely written.... and I think "Life Goes On" is a suitable title also. chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Great poem, looks like you have had some great suggestions for a title. Keep writing, Jeffrey ~hugs from netswan |
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Jan Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 114 |
You know, I kind of like the title If. Wonderful poem. You are very lucky. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Jeff-gator this is GREAT!!!!! I love this one and hon you need to pick up a guitar and head for Nashville cause this one reads like a good old tear in my beer country song!!! as do many of yours when i read them... I like your title and Wolfies - title hmmmmm must be something to that  later-hee-haw-gator LOL jan It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving (How one move just puts me by myself) There you go just trusting someone else (Now I know I put us both through hell) ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong (I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me) And I'm not sayin (We ever had the right to hold on) (I just didn't wanna let you get away from me) ~MB20~ She says baby, It's 3AM ... I must be lonely, When she says baby, Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes, Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it. ~MB20~ |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
"Life goes on"? i dig that. very well done. i dig this one a lot. the thing you have achieved here, the hope, seems unattainable. i'm glad you know how precious it is. how about "you've shown me..." for a title? We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thank you all for your wonderful comments and title suggestions, I really appreciate it I think I have settled on "Hope In Healing" but I am still open to suggestions As for Jan-gator .... Flattery will get you everywhere my dear LOL It's probably because my most major influence is Hank Williams Sr. (just love his way with words)< !signature--> All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep [This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 06-18-2000).] |
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