Open Poetry #8 |
Difficult Position |
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
Difficult Position Droplets released, little pieces of her, rolling, falling...down. Pain stained face, eyes overtired, smile turned into frown. Skipping breath, trembles uncontrolled, hands holding her head. Knees tucked to chest, cold overcomes, no healing words to be said. Evil taking it's toll, on weak and helpless one, on her broken body, on her broken mind. Mountains too high, seas too deep, a light too difficult to find. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Those first three lines were enough to lock me into this poem....it exudes waves of frustration but is so expertly written I'm smiling at its wonder. Very well done.... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh, I could "feel" this one Spitfire. This is excellent and exuded such imagery ... well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Well Balladeer, thank you sir for reading...and your ever so kind response. Do take care. ~Kit,...Thanks for taking the time and for your words. Means lots. Really. *Peace. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
chilling and pain laced words here... strong emotional imagery great writing, take care, jm And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SpitFire~ Felt the painful thoughts. Fetal position seeking solace perfectly described through this offering. Very descriptive ... caught me in it's imagery. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
a very powerful poem, each word aches, thanks for sharing but as difficult as your position is hang on, that light will come. take care. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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Lorraine Nisbet Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 218Jersey City, NJ USA |
SpitFire~ WOW! I got caught up in this one. Well done!! ~Lorraine A great poet is nothing more....than a discovered amateur |
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