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Open Poetry #8
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Shall The Championed Prevail?
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Shall The Championed Prevail? |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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©2000 Christopher Ward her champion gripped the star fallen from a-sea up high above, dark nightmared skies where once rested. empty dreams “gentled caress; un-breaking” she breathed into his heart and upon his lips bestowed a sprinkling kiss of space his palm, filled wished and wonder thoughts tickle anticipated, and- therein, weakness died ebullient; he’d whispered singing hoped and praises whils’t gleamed ‘neath midnight’s light this planet, maker of his dreaming, danced astride a smile o’ never-known yet; ‘pon the dawned approach fading dark through light the twinkling heart held gentle -smashed! eyes, turned steel, away did float his breeze plaintive cried -ignored, unanswered- crushed ‘gainst stone-faced soul the championed no longer, subsumed awashed his darkness there followed days o’ dim descendance as the championed arose o’er the champion traveling hell-wrought halls razed by blindness o’ his own design t’was blinded by the lightness, beautied shimmerings o’ her, his star, an’ sightless then; again, to all which lay without but all heaven’s bodies can n’er stay felled a-long as natured decrees “e’er the fallen must rise” so the twinkling hope rose o’er head nigh to the south, and far in sight the champion (no more) did gaze breathless in her, awed ‘pon broken knees crawled o’er rockied shores -of sea ‘neath skies o’ raving rage in clouded swims o’ loss on heated barbs o’ earth and through the mists of then -a champion reborned from the fire into now raged at the star, then beg. aloft she perched; high away alone. unheard, his pleas divested, dissipated nothing found fain though woulds’t she spend , her splendor unto to him throughout the faded daze he a-kneeled - she a-flight the thunder flit between: electric gazed the gods, o’er the unbelievers two. with back against all worlds lost to the journey start forgot they must begin as they traveled paths mid-stride, athwart the other’s frown to bear in nothingness formed then should it be the lighting fades and clouded night appeared as daytime the roads of life crossed by, anon their glares turned into glance and frowns wilted to smiles the snow melted to sunshine as the champion reached out his palm lay open, gauntlet shed, no steel cov’ring clad the star alight en-whispr’d into his heart and mind whereupon she nestled deeply, into his arms- their strength bared only her. and turned she holds her soul he gentled took in hand as the skies sang out in holy and the earth released their bonds the championed and the champion above, below, between contented took in sharing one heart -mirrored one soul -echoed one love |
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| © Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Hey Chris, Welcome back to open even if it is only a quick visit.  What a battle here. I'm glad to see that the "Light" won! I just love happy endinngs. This was very enchanting Sir!  I will be patiently waiting for your next visit here in Open! ~Sheri |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"so the twinkling hope rose o’er head nigh to the south, and far in sight the champion (no more) did gaze breathless in her, awed" Wow Christopher! What a beautiful tale you weave ... this was a delight to read, lovely! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
“gentled caress; un-breaking” she breathed into his heart and upon his lips bestowed a sprinkling kiss of space his palm, filled wished and wonder thoughts tickle anticipated, and- therein, weakness died ------------ t’was blinded by the lightness, beautied shimmerings o’ her, his star, an’ sightless then; again, to all which lay without but all heaven’s bodies can n’er stay felled a-long as natured decrees “e’er the fallen must rise” so the twinkling hope rose o’er head nigh to the south, and far in sight the champion (no more) did gaze breathless in her, awed --------------- one heart -mirrored one soul -echoed one love ---------- Chris, this is awesome...truly the imagery, the vocabulary the presentation... and the obvious effort and inspiration put into this... superb!!! better be careful...some one might think your a poet later C Gator jm |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This sings like an epic, m'friend ... Could have been a bit "trimmer," I think -- snip off a few unremarkable lines here and there, you know -- but when the heart overflows, it is a difficult flood to stem, is it not? Good luck, my friend, and good poetry ... --Me YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Christopher,...this took me away for the few short minutes that it took me to read it. It swallowed me in it's tale and held me there till the end. Marvelous work. Thank you for the pleasure of reading it. Take care. *Peace. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Beautiful! I think you should record this and put it on your website...I'd play it over and over and over!!!  |
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Miss Behavin' Member
since 1999-06-16
Posts 84 |
Very nice indeed - and Sharon has a pretty good idea there - go for it...  |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is a work of art Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This is a beautiful display of love Chris...if she's ever lucky enough to rein over you...THEN I'll be in awe!!!!! This is deep m'friend!!Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Loss and love, heartache and triumph...yes, this sings. "their glares turned into glance and frowns wilted to smiles" --Out of the many moments this poem has, those two lines grabbed me. Yep, like it lots. Bunches even |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I know the emotion in this, C. one heart -mirrored one soul -echoed one love and with this I truly identify for that is how it should be. and this: the star alight en-whispr’d into his heart and mind whereupon she nestled deeply, into his arms- their strength bared only her. is an incredible image... It is hard to compress such a story into a space so short, but you have and done it not just accurately but well. Yes, what a story. Hugs K |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is remarkably beautiful, Christopher. I tried reading it aloud and found myself whispering the end...it's perfect. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
First off, I want to thank all of you for reading and replying. I know I respond little and write even less, so it means a lot that you'd take the time to read for me. Sheri - Thank you! Sometimes I like it when the "good guys" win too! And about me next visit... don't hold your breath too long! Kit - Again, thank you. I'm glad I was able to hold your interest!!! Janet - You're right!!! I did put effort into this and it was after a fashion inspired!!! And I'm not worried, no one's going to mistake me for a poet... I smile too much! Kess - It is and thank you. Your advice is always valued, though rarely agreed with!  Spitfire - Awesome way to put it! I love it when a tale "sucks me in!" Glad you felt that here! Sharon - Who'd want to listen to my squeaky ol' voice anyway??? LOL MB - Yawp! TY! Kathleen - You humble me. (Not really, but it sounds cool!) Devina - C'mon! Do you ever really think that will happen??? No, "she" wouldn't try to reign over me! Nic - Bunches of lots even? Wow, on a roll today!!! LOL Thank you lady! K - Yes, hard to compress... I could've written and written and written and... serenity - That's beautiful you ol' sap you... (BG) Thank you friend, for blessing this poem with your eyes and lips! Again, thank you all! Christopher |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Well now...I feel like I just took a long walk down a winding path of underbrush sir...a lovely path, I might add. This is a breathtaking epic, and there's no way I could add anymore *swooning* goo than the others already have. I'll just say wow, you really outdid yourself, and I'm sure you're quite pleased with this little chapter. Thanks for sharing, you're most generous. "Fantasies enrich our lives to the fullest, but true satisfaction comes from creating your own story in the real world! Live out your fantasies & make a storybook with beautiful pictures for the world to enjoy! -poetFemme |
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DONALD Junior Member
since 2000-06-16
Posts 10 |
HEY CHRIS, TO BE!! OR NOT TO BE???, IS THE QUESTION NOT THE ANSWER...SHAKESPEARE WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE FOND OF YOU MY BROTHER...AND WE KNOW THE ONLY WAY TO BE REBORN IS THRU JESUS CHRIST, BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM,ALL IS NOT FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Christopher* This was an amazing tale with a captivating air. The picture you painted showed your poetic brush as well as your love of prose, you melted them together with style~ As always thank you for sharing your work~ |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I just wanted you to know that I have come here and read this a couple of times. Each time I read, I know I need to reread a few more times before I can reply sufficiently to this piece. I have not had the time to spend on this that it truely deserves. I will come back (maybe this evening...no promises though) and give it my full attention.  Reading it through (once each time so far) it has struck me deeply my friend. I will be back to it sweetie. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Gen - "swooning goo?" I see no swooning! Whatintheworldyatalkinabout? LOL But thank you miss for commenting on this somewhat long attempt! DONALD - Ahem... You know, it would be my theory that if there were a god, then what (his/her/its) influence would equal things out in the arena of love and war is likely not an endeavour in which the aforementioned deity would likely approve. As to Shakespeare... pehaps, LOL, odds are, he'd see me exactly as I am... just a crazy boy playing with words! But thank you for the reference, I am honored.Holly - My dear, I do think you've gotten it right! This perhaps is one of the reasons I feel I excel more at free-verse as opposed to the rhyming forms. It does bear a relationship to prose with regards to freedom of usage, though there are still "rules." Self-imposed rules, granted, but ther nonetheless! Thank you butterfly for viewing. Mar - I shall eagerly be awaiting your response. I would also like to have you share your interpretation with me (whether public or private, doesn't matter.) I've heard a couple and so far only Nic has nailed it. (But you can't ask her!!! That'd be cheating! LOL) HUGS Chris |
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