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Oblivious
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Oblivious |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Oblivious < !signature-->A hushed silence on the ship we sail Your arms push my back against the rail It is that inevitable moment of truth You only see in movies as a youth The sunset meets the ocean I feel your growing emotions Whispering words I’ve long to hear As your arms draw me near The world stops as two hearts beat This paradise, a perfect retreat I watch a dolphin do its freedom dance I stare, lost in a turbulent trance The tear in my eye must speak Oblivious, you wipe the sting from my cheek Marina July 2000 It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley [This message has been edited by Marina (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marina Crossley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Yes very different for you. and different rhyme scheme too I think. I like the message. James |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Tenderly romantic Marina.....beautiful work~ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
A tender moment to cherish. Lovely images floating through my head right now. Great piece my sea faring friend. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Marina, a theder and delicate poem , really beautiful. "A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Beautiful and touching poem, Marina. The end was great!  LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Refreshing scene.. the ocean.. two lovers.. a tender moment...nicely done! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Marina what a beautiful scene you have set here... is there a sequel? never say never |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Marina~ You're touching tender here .... 'The world stops as two hearts beat' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Marina, What a perfect romantic poem for me to read, as I have just returned from a cruise. Thanks for sharing. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
oohh M-girl this is lovely... sensual and romantic... very nice.... when I saw the title...I thought it was about me LOL walking into walls around here of late LOL love the poem-gator girl so did gemini  loljm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
what a lovely evening you describe ... I could sure make use of a few moments like that Rex |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
James, yes this whole style is different for me. Thank you for noticing the message that is in the last verse. BF, thank you, glad you liked it Mark, care to share those images?? Thank you Brian, thank you, my friend LW, I am glad you liked the ending. it is my favourite part. Thank you. Ethome, thank so much Paula, thank you and no there is no sequel. Marge, thank you. It is a little bit more romantic for me. Thanks for noticing. Bill, thank you. I hope your cruise was wonderful. Jm, What I am going to do with you girl!!! You nut!! Gemini, thank you so much.......I knew I could count on you!! LOL Rex, thanks....couldn't we all!! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I watch a dolphin do its freedom dance I stare, lost in a turbulent trance The tear in my eye must speak Oblivious, you wipe it from my cheek ... WOW Marina, This is wonderful poetry... and what lines... amazing... regards, sudhir |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Marina this poem has a certain flair to it...reminds me of my boat rides to Catalina...watching the dolphins...the adventure...scuba diving in Hawaii and watching the dolphins frolic in the warm sea. You have described what seems like a perfect romantic adventure and then you use the word oblivious??? Was this a tear of happiness or sadness? I loved the use of the word oblivious within the poem...it fits perfectly...James |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Sudhir, thank you my friend. I am glad you enjoyed it. James, your boat trips sound fabulous! I love dolphins, they are most favourite animals. Of course living in Canada does have its drawbacks as far as this is concerned! LOL Are my tears happy or sad?? Well, I use the word oblivious in the last line for a reason, and the dolphins are doing a dance of freedom. So I will let you decide. You know I always love your replies! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Simply wonderful Marina. . . I like the style that you have used here. . . romantic. . . very different for you. . . And I hope that your tears are tears of happiness as you free yourself of whatever it is that is in your life. . . Excellent my friend. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Martinque Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 69 |
Nice writing. |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Sven , thank you. It actaully is just penning old emotions. I was looking at pictures of a cruise I took 2 years ago with my ex. So I gues it is a mixture of romance and sadness. Martinque, thank you. Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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