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Open Poetry #8
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Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario

0 posted 2000-07-26 02:29 PM


Oblivious


A hushed silence on the ship we sail
Your arms push my back against the rail
It is that inevitable moment of truth
You only see in movies as a youth

The sunset meets the ocean
I feel your growing emotions
Whispering words I’ve long to hear
As your arms draw me near
The world stops as two hearts beat
This paradise, a perfect retreat

I watch a dolphin do its freedom dance
I stare, lost in a turbulent trance
The tear in my eye must speak
Oblivious, you wipe the sting from my cheek


Marina July 2000

< !signature-->

It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley



[This message has been edited by Marina (edited 07-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Marina Crossley - All Rights Reserved
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
1 posted 2000-07-26 02:41 PM


Yes very different for you. and different rhyme scheme too I think.
I like the message.

James

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2000-07-26 02:43 PM


Tenderly romantic Marina.....beautiful work~
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
3 posted 2000-07-26 05:14 PM


A tender moment to cherish.  Lovely images floating through my head right now.  Great piece my sea faring friend.
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
4 posted 2000-07-26 06:04 PM


Marina, a theder and delicate poem , really beautiful.

"A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2000-07-26 06:09 PM


Beautiful and touching poem, Marina.  The end was great!  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2000-07-26 06:18 PM


Refreshing scene.. the ocean.. two lovers.. a tender moment...nicely done!
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2000-07-26 07:18 PM


Marina what a beautiful scene you have set here... is there a sequel?

never say never

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2000-07-26 07:28 PM


Marina~
You're touching tender here ....

'The world stops as two hearts beat'

~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2000-07-26 07:32 PM


Marina,
What a perfect romantic poem for me to read, as I have just returned from a cruise. Thanks for sharing.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2000-07-26 07:33 PM


oohh M-girl this is lovely...
sensual and romantic...
very nice....
when I saw the title...I thought it was about me LOL
walking into walls around here of late LOL
love the poem-gator girl
so did gemini  lol
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
11 posted 2000-07-26 07:59 PM


what a lovely evening you describe ... I could sure make use of a few moments like that

Rex

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
12 posted 2000-07-27 01:53 PM


James, yes this whole style is different for me.  Thank you for noticing the message that is in the last verse.

BF, thank you, glad you liked it

Mark, care to share those images??  Thank you

Brian, thank you, my friend

LW, I am glad you liked the ending.  it is my favourite part.  Thank you.

Ethome, thank so much

Paula, thank you and no there is no sequel.


Marge, thank you.  It is a little bit more romantic for me.  Thanks for noticing.


Bill, thank you. I hope your cruise was wonderful.


Jm, What I am going to do with you girl!!!  You nut!!

Gemini, thank you so much.......I knew I could count on you!!   LOL    

Rex, thanks....couldn't we all!!


Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
13 posted 2000-07-27 01:54 PM


I watch a dolphin do its freedom dance
I stare, lost in a turbulent trance
The tear in my eye must speak
Oblivious, you wipe it from my cheek

...

WOW Marina,
This is wonderful poetry... and what lines... amazing...

regards,
sudhir

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2000-07-27 03:33 PM


Marina this poem has a certain flair to it...reminds me of my boat rides to Catalina...watching the dolphins...the adventure...scuba diving in Hawaii and watching the dolphins frolic in the warm sea.
You have described what seems like a perfect romantic adventure and then you use the word oblivious???   Was this a tear of happiness or sadness?  I loved the use of the word oblivious within the poem...it fits perfectly...James

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
15 posted 2000-07-27 09:30 PM


Sudhir, thank you my friend.  I am glad you enjoyed it.

James, your boat trips sound fabulous!  I love dolphins, they are most favourite animals.  Of course living in Canada does have its drawbacks as far as this is concerned! LOL
Are my tears happy or sad??  Well, I use the word oblivious in the last line for a reason, and the dolphins are doing a dance of freedom.  So I will let you decide.  You know I always love your replies!

Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
16 posted 2000-07-27 11:06 PM


Simply wonderful Marina. . .

I like the style that you have used here. . . romantic. . . very different for you. . .

And I hope that your tears are tears of happiness as you free yourself of whatever it is that is in your life. . .

Excellent my friend. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Martinque
Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 69

17 posted 2000-07-28 06:48 PM


Nice writing.
Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
18 posted 2000-07-29 11:27 AM


Sven , thank you.  It actaully is just penning old emotions.  I was looking at pictures of a cruise I took 2 years ago with my ex.  So I gues it is a mixture of romance and sadness.

Martinque, thank you.


Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley


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