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Open Poetry #8
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2000-07-22 01:10 AM


Dancing Lessons

Beneath the bridge by water’s edge
Only a trace of moonlight glows,
The western winds blowing true
A night to retreat by fire's coals.

But here we meet in the mist
Moving to an ancient dance,
To a tune exclusively ours
Was it left to fate or chance?

This bay is cold, streets are bare
Quiet, save this dreamlike song
Carrying notes on thickened air
Soft waves carry us along.

Teacher and student both -
Each learning ways of the other,
Crossing tangible lines
Once again greeting two lovers.

Bathing in each precious drop
Each note calling down in time,
When the foggy dawn arrives
Always yours, always mine.

© 2000 Corinne Bailey



[This message has been edited by Corinne (edited 07-24-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
1 posted 2000-07-22 05:17 AM


a meeting in mist .. very lyrical Corinne .. it conveyed very well the silence yet the music of an intimate rendevous wrapped in the heightened secrecy of misty air ... my favourite line:

"Carrying notes on thickened air"

i hope i picked up what you were trying to convey ..!

oh and btw nice Title too......

philip


PS ..small typo stanza three line one????


[This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 07-22-2000).]

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
2 posted 2000-07-22 05:55 AM


beautiful poem Corinne wonderful sense of atmosphere.

why must we pray
screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2000-07-22 06:13 AM


I agree with Brian Corinne, really captured the atmosphere here and with beautiful flowing lines. Excellent!
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2000-07-22 05:13 PM


This is great! I read it slowly, wishing I was there watching.  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-07-22 11:31 PM


Corinne~

'But here we meet in the mist
Moving to an ancient dance,
To a tune exclusively ours
Was it left to fate or chance?'

Lovely - so lovely !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-07-24 05:42 AM


Bathing in each precious drop
Each note screaming down in time,
When the foggy dawn arrives
Always yours, always mine.

......

Corinne,
It is sheer pleasure to read your poetry... WOW, what a feeling...

Regards,
Sudhir

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