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Open Poetry #8
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Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

0 posted 2000-07-18 07:50 PM


blade


a    glistening   blade
   doesn't like
     being cliched

a whistling blade
  terrible shrill
     wrongly played

a serious blade
it's countenance
    quite staid

a fierce blade
no hands
   ever swayed

a relentless blade
  no chance
     to evade

a stubborn blade
   no way
     to dissuade

a terse blade
  whose point
    isn't  made

a keen blade
  quickly cutting
    those unafraid

a lonely blade
  like some
    shadows fade

a lost blade
  without luck
    soon decayed

a simple blade
  of grass
    now frayed



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


© Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2000-07-18 08:16 PM



  I loved the ending.......

      "a simple blade of grass........."
  This was thought-provoking and I enjoyed
  the reading......as always with your
              writing, my friend......


~~~~~Live for Today~~~~~
taste every single moment



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-07-18 08:37 PM


I enjoyed this..it didn't go where I expected it to so I was pleasantly surprised.  
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2000-07-18 08:48 PM


Jamie,

This was great.  I love the end . . . quite a nice surprise.  I'll never look at grass the same!!  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
4 posted 2000-07-18 10:58 PM


Sunny1, Glad you enjoyed it--I meant for it to be thought provoking so you really made my day when you said that. I was in the yard chewing on a blade of grass and all this symbolism struck me, so I had to get my pad.
Thanks again.

Sharon- Again, music to my humble ears. Thank you so much.

Lone Wolf- Neither will I look at it quite the same-- I really have to cut it. (which i neglected to do BTW---lol) Thanks bunches.

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
5 posted 2000-07-18 11:21 PM


You write with so many styles...I could never
pick a favorite if I had to...and I don't so
I guess I'm safe there    This was superb,
it appears that alot of work went into this,
Bravo for the outcome!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2000-07-18 11:46 PM


Jamie, this is excellent, love the metaphors my friend! Well Done  
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-07-19 12:43 PM


I enjoyed the way this was presented and loved the ending...well done!
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2000-07-19 04:13 AM


Ah! the pleasure of reading what you offer, your poetry is marvelous, Jamie...

and chewing a blade of grass, you say huh?  

regards to you "cow"boy,   (sorry for the pun-fun)
sudhir...


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
9 posted 2000-07-19 04:19 AM


I like how all those verses come together with rhyme and reason....excellent work!
The end was'nt what I expected but it made the whole work grow......

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2000-07-19 07:10 AM


Cool!!!

J - this is cool...as for that rhyming...grrr...me wanna do...lol!

love the ending too...

K

MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
11 posted 2000-07-19 08:15 AM


Prometheus

wonderful...I had a similar thought this spring about dandelions...it's amazing how we  take so much for granted and then when I began writing I now notice everything.

Dent de Lion

There you were, golden maned
popping up everywhere I looked
as I leaned back yesterday,
enjoying the warmth of an after rain.

Drawing me to you,  I plucked you
from the meadows behind
brushed you lightly against my cheek
surprised at your softness,
and how delicate you really were.

All my life you were but a weed
though cosmopolitan, and to some
an herb, producing a dandy wine
to drink or as is, edible to feast upon.

I eyed you, held you, played with you
studied your strong stem
your little hairs, fine tuned
breathed in scent of sweetness.

Why was I so surprised...
sensing your want of acceptance?
Yesterday, you received mine.
I kissed you with my lips and you
left your tracings of gold upon them.

A weed no more, I see the beauty in you.
4*2k


thanks for giving me a chance to remember this one
~~softly
Maureen


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
12 posted 2000-07-19 11:20 PM


8-)---thanks everyone..
and mmoon---thanks for sharing the great poem.

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

13 posted 2001-02-22 11:23 PM


it really isn't it's hon...

believe me - I know what I am blabbing about.

heh

doubt me all you want - you will see...you will see..

hugs

K

oh - and I do like this you know..the different connections, symbolisms...very thought-provoking indeed...



...and I have found a lifetime can be lived in one moment...

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