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Sculpting
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Sculpting |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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This was written by a man, but it was a woman who inspired it from the first person view. She's a terrific poet in her own right, who is now making her own way in the world. Watch out world. From the outside it doesn't look serious, From the outside, everything is cool. Yet the pain runs deep. Its curious How you chiseled our love with your tools. A craftsman, you saw the wavering grain, Took your chisel and mallet in hand, And with practiced blows delivered pain According to your well thought plan. With biting words and sharp-cutting eyes, You carved deeply without remorse. And though I pleaded, you gave no replies, But continued your sculpting course. Each delivered blow bit cleanly, As you chipped at my crumbling will. Humming softly as you carved meanly Cutting deeper and deeper still. Now your new statue is finally done, You've polished every mark and slip. And of the heart where you'd begun? Regret and pain show your workmanship. The next block of granite is waiting, For you to start your sculpting anew. With scarcely a moment of hesitating, I'm left with no commitment from you. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-13-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Long John-- I think I met this woman or at least her twin. Man is she good at her craft. This was a wonderful heartfelt read and I thank you for expressing so well what I feel deep within. It hits hard. |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
ilustrates the painful emotions well..nice poem...though granite and clay terms used to express heart are not apt I feel...its a nice read Sincerely a_l |
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MagnoliaBlue Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367 |
Wow...beautifully written.  Sounds like the Ice Princess, Lola and Hard-Hearted Hanna rolled into one.  Great read here.Seems silly to keep saying wow...but, WOW!! MagnoliaBlue ~My Skipper Jim I love you! Your Lady June~ |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Thanks for your comments, Mark. They are always welcome (unlike those from that dirty rat, Amazon_lover - lol). amazon_lover - Yanno - I had a lot of trouble with that granite-clay comparison, too. Upon reading your thoughts and reflecting, I decided to just scrap that whole verse and let the rest stand on its own. Thanks for the comments. Maggie Blue - Thank you for those wonderful words. I sincerely hope nobody else but the dedicatee can relate to this poem. Mark and amazon - Thanks to both of you for your comments. I appreciate every one of them. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I stand in awe and amazement...well crafted, indeed... Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Excellent writing Long John...I enjoyed reading this...I believe I know about 10 people like this...James |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LongJohn, I can think of no one more qualified to write about chiseling than you  ...and you did it very well, my talented amigo. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Long John a work of art akin to MIchaelangleo's David. Da Vicci's Pitta. Wonderful poem keep sculpting those words. "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Long John--Well written, my man...although chisling hurts, It can also make something beautiful. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
*tears* i don't know... i found this quite sad ... and almost disheartening well written, though... but i'd expect no less from you, mike |
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