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Open Poetry #8
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Poetias
Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26


0 posted 2000-07-09 10:35 AM


Help me remember what I love about you
For I have hidden my love.
My purest adoration is masked,
locked away where it will no longer be vulnerable to the brutality that spews forth from those lips
Lips that once made me quiver
with the mere utterance of three words
I have created a safe haven for myself
which to you may seem a cold and frigid isolation;
an unforgving retreat
My longing for you slips further and further away from me
with each hurtful word
with each lonely day
For even when you are here,
I am still alone
I have lost the partner I married
and I am left instead with his residual self
stay here or let me free
for this should prove long-lasting
or never be.


"Even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you." -Khalil Gibran
THE PROPHET

© Copyright 2000 Nira C Jones - All Rights Reserved
Poetias
Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26

1 posted 2000-07-09 10:36 AM


I couldn't think of a title.
Whoever reads, please suggest.

Thanx...

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2000-07-09 10:42 AM


Poetias.....

      How about 'Hidden Love'??

This is so beautiful, and anyone whose ever
been in a long-term relationship can feel
exactly what you're saying here!

    My favorite part:
    
             "for even when you're here
                 I'm still alone...."

  How many times have I thought this.......

      
              


Paint your words upon the eager waiting canvas of my heart.....~Sunny1~

Poetias
Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26

3 posted 2000-07-09 11:27 AM


Hidden Love, I think that works.
I didn't know if it was just me or what, but I cannot escape the feeling that I am "fighting" this "battle" by myself. Trying to save my relationship.
Thanks for reading.



"Even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you." -Khalil Gibran
THE PROPHET

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
4 posted 2000-07-09 12:27 PM


Poetias...
          I keep coming back to read this.
I just wanted to tell you that you're not
alone in feeling the way you do. It's
frustrating to fight to save a relationship,
'cause it seems like they keep changing.
I do understand.....I've felt the words
you've written..........

           You're not alone here....


Dont be afraid of the dark....behind it is the
light....


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2000-07-09 12:34 PM


Sounds like "together we shall be alone" to me.  Hope things get better.

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2000-07-09 01:13 PM


Sounds familiar here as well.  How about "Love Retreated".  Hope you find a title and more importantly hope you find the love again.
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2000-07-09 01:30 PM


how about "Hope Abandoned" I know how you feel...being shut out is the worst kind of abandonment...but please know love is out there...and in the last place you might expect to find it...I found it here.
Poetias
Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26

8 posted 2000-07-09 03:22 PM


Sunny1- In knowing you like this work, or assuming you do anyway, it helps. It brings me out of this rut I'm stuck in. I write on ther topics, really I do.=) Thank you for making me feel that I belong.

Prometheus- "Together I shall be alone", is more like it. I hope it gets better too, it can't get any worse.

Mark- I'm glad you glad you can relate, it makes it seem my feelings are being validated.

Paula Finn- I definitely have found it here...my poems have never been appreciated like they are here.
You all speak to my heart.


"Even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you." -Khalil Gibran
THE PROPHET

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2000-07-09 05:46 PM


I loved this poem..lots of rich feelings and desires and disappointments...I suggest the title.."My lips once quivered".   James
Poetias
Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26

10 posted 2000-07-09 06:13 PM


James -I think that's it! It's perfect..."My lips once quivered".
How did you see it?


Michael G
Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579
Nashville
11 posted 2000-07-09 06:25 PM


How about"Loves lost yearning".  I love the poem, hits the right spot.  I know exactly how you are feeling.  Have my vote.

Michael G

Poetias
Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26

12 posted 2000-07-09 06:43 PM


Thank you Michael, I'm glad I was able to touch you with my words. Please continue to be so kind when speaking of my poetry.

Yes, I think that title fits as well. I cannot be forced to choose one. No.


"Even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you." -Khalil Gibran
THE PROPHET

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