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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-07-03 02:31 PM


The Power to Tick me Forward

What is this restless
tossing back of heart
like an errant lock of hair
falling over my eyes
it distorts my vision
with its dark strands
that yearn for cutting

It almost weeps
it is so filled up with longing
and I can’t find its opening
must have been forged long ago
and forgotten one July day
when the hot sun melted
a thought of you

So now I am laid out and burning
and my crust curls
and I toss my hair back
pin it up and away from this need
and see yesterday’s face looking
looking across the distance I have drawn
and I sketch her youth on yellowed paper
and breathe each stroke into a word
and turn this unanswered thought
into the power that will tick me forward





[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-03-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
1 posted 2000-07-03 02:40 PM


Time blurred memories urging hopeful movement. Forward.
Very nice

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2000-07-03 02:45 PM


and see yesterday’s face looking
looking across the distance I have drawn
and I sketch her youth on yellowed paper
and breath each stroke into a word
and turn this unanswered thought
into the power that will tick me forward
......
Martie,
very well expressed thoughts, beautifully written...

Regards, sudhir

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2000-07-03 04:24 PM


This was powerful Martie ... I seemed to read each line faster and faster with more urgency.  Loved this ... wonderful poem!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

4 posted 2000-07-03 04:29 PM


this poem was written with a power to tick the reader forward, couldn't wait to get to the end, and then wanted to read it again, love the image of the wayward hair and how you wove this together  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-07-03 04:39 PM


What is this restless
tossing back of heart
like an errant lock of hair
falling over my eyes
it distorts my vision
with its dark strands
that yearn for cutting

It almost weeps
it is so filled up with longing
and I can’t find its opening
must have been forged long ago
and forgotten one July day
when the hot sun melted
a thought of you
--------------
pin it up and away from this need
and see yesterday’s face looking
looking across the distance I have drawn
and I sketch her youth on yellowed paper
and breathe each stroke into a word
and turn this unanswered thought
into the power that will tick me forward
------------------
oh man ...
I'd like to worship this poem...
but i cant type for POET ENVY  
absolutely awesome Martie ...
amazing use of metaphor...
amazing depth of emotion...
color me jaded ...
jm

What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly
~LaoTzeTao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

6 posted 2000-07-03 06:09 PM


Exceptional poetry Martie...
the stroke of your pen has breathed a jewel of a poem upon us....

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2000-07-03 07:44 PM


Goodness Martie, You've gone and done it again!!! You've knocked me of of my chair!!
EXCELLENT!!! sweet one! You are incredible!!

and I sketch her youth on yellowed paper
and breathe each stroke into a word
and turn this unanswered thought
into the power that will tick me forward

Beautiful!  


Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died,
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2000-07-03 07:46 PM


Unbelievable thoughts
Liz

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2000-07-03 07:57 PM


Well, you just keep doing wonderful things, MArtie and I continue to read in admiration. Now excuse me while I go pick Dark Angel up off the floor  

"Tick me forward
Tick me back"
I could hear her scoff.
"Tick me up or
Tick me down
But just don't tick me off!"

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-07-03 08:04 PM


Martie~
Wonderful - subtle - yet elusive ...
what a talent for the unique ...
See ... you leave us all either
breathless or on the floor !
POWERFUL !
LOL @ that Balladeer !

'tossing back of heart
like an errant lock of hair'

*sighing* here ...
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2000-07-04 12:23 PM


Promethious--thank you so much...I think hope always moves forward.

Sudhir--thanks for reading and for your thoughtful reply.

Kit--I'm so glad you saw power in this...your reply made me feel great.

Corazon--Thank you for such a heart warming reply.

Your enthusiasm emazes me Janet...thanks dear!

Mike--if you see a jewel then I am happy...

Dark Angel--Goodness, what a wonderful, enthusiastic reply!!  Thank you so much...Balladeer is coming to the rescue.

Liz--thanks so much for such a nice reply, sweet lady.

Balladeer--your admiration is worth alot to me...and thanks for picking up Dark Angel and for the little rhyme.

Marge--how do you always manage to reply with such beautiful heart warming words?  You must be special.



Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2000-07-04 12:36 PM


We are forever haunted by those who have left, perhaps it is in the knowing that someday we will be rejoined with them.

Corinne

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
13 posted 2000-07-04 03:02 PM


martie, wonderfully written. fabulous images. really enjoyed.


A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
14 posted 2000-09-20 10:41 AM


I think this worthy of submission - If you've the courage  - try alsop's - it might net you $100 ~S~ - it's worth more than that to me

~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.

~ Billy Wilder

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