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A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #8 |
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Deconstructing Eve (An Important Issue Inspired by Brian Madden) |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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*First I would like to thank Brian Madden for inpsiring me to write this. I find his poems to be unique, creative and thought provoking. He is a rare talent. Some credit is owed to him, as he thought of the title and a few lines in my poem. He has already given me permission to use them. So thank you Brian for the support!*  I hope that anyone who reads this poem does not get offended by the graphic or blunt nature of this poem, my intentions are only to paint a dark picture that leaves the reader with something to think about. And no, men and society are not entirely to blame, but, yes some blame can be attributed to them, especially to society as a whole. This is probably one of my poems that I truly have a deep affection for, because I suffered from society's standards of beauty when I was in high school. So please everyone try not to judge anyone by appearances, but rather by their "beauty" on the inside, even I have to remind myself of that. ~DECONSTRUCTING EVE~ She bruises easily: the price to pay for the precious flesh that she wears, has herself a degree on the wall, that hangs in a cherry-wood frame, she was the top of her class, with her parents proud of her, a kind and caring spirit, talented and intelligent, with all her curves and femininity, and a lovely name of Eve, perfect in God's eyes, but, not in society's, socializing her to conform to a certain image, deconstructing her confidence, for, gone are the blessed years of carefree days and pig-tailed innocence, where her mother raised her as a sweet little girl, while her little plastic dolls taught her anorexia, as she held in her memory their ideals of beauty, carrying on into adulthood, haunting her mind She wears a state of the art push-up bra, to lift her silicone breasts, the best that money can buy, taught early on about the importance of clevage for a man's pleasure, and her acceptance as a woman, dyed her hair a honey blonde shade, wearing stilettos and a black mini skirt, little miss wannabe sex symbol, with her Marilyn Monroe laugh, her Betty Boop charms, and her fluttering, curled to perfection eyelashes, complimenting her eyes of blue, a magic trick created with contact lenses, concealing the dull brown hue She, in envy, consults diagrams and Playboy mags, full of pictures of naked beauties that the Adams of the world use to masturbate on, longing to be just like those lost souls, "sex kittens" that men gaze upon, and compare their girlfriends and wives to, not happy with the real thing, fantasizing about a false beauty, a false happiness, where underlying is a moral ugliness She worships fashion magazines, with ads promising the key to superhuman beauty, appealing to her impressionable heart, promising to fill it with love, buying the cause, but, not the cure, a vicious cycle, she purchases revolutionary products, powder and concealor in one, that now covers the hurt she tries to hide, the fatal flaw of daring to be herself She holds in her hands, pills in a bottle, guaranteed to shed unwanted pounds or her money back, pounds that her body cannot spare, for, she is already too thin, but, still, she is led to believe that she is fat, compared to her on the cover of a magazine, and her walking down a runway, and that one on the movie screen, tonight she starves herself: the sacrifice to be wanted in their eyes, the need to please, to feel safe in her own skin, where superficiality is next to godliness when it's the latest fad She, a weed blowing in the harsh, relentless wind of society's laughter, opens the door to her soul, a sellout, and they, without hesitation, dismantle her lonely heart, breaking down each body part, bit by bit, agonizingly slow in a mocking manner, disecting the very essence of her, while they steal her unqiueness hold it in the palm of their hands and tease it for a while, then strip it away from her, she, now their manequin in a department store window, skillfully manipulating, doing as they please, draining her of her dreams and innocence, for, she is going to look beautiful at all costs, molding her into what they want her to be, once satisfied, but, never completely, they carelessly re-create her, rebuild her soul, and hide the scars that now live within She, more fragile than ever, has bloomed into that desired red rose that she had always dreamed of becoming, but also lives with the thorns that come with the territory, confused, a sour girl, an imitation of all the masks that women wear, she no longer walks with dignity, her eyes now swim in tears, hollow they race in a trance down her cheeks, streams of emptiness for belying her own intelligence and worth, for selling her soul, the price to pay when reconstructing Eve By Melissa P. Monette aka- Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 07-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Hi Melissa, I am now really blushing at the introduction. People will think I paid you to say all those things.. we will settle the fee up later ok...Thanks for the credit, and for using some of my words..though I get 40% writers royalities right!?! lol no seriously on to the poem itself. WOW Meliss there is alot in the poem, you have already heard my opinions on the subject at hand, so I will talk about the poem itself. This is intense, powerful. This paragraph hits hard, especially the first few lines. I know what it is like to be bullied so those lines hit hard. She, a weed blowing in the harsh, relentless wind of society's laughter, opens the door to her soul, a sellout, and they, without hesitation, dismantle her lonely heart, breaking down each body part, bit by bit, agonizingly slow in a mocking manner, disecting the very essence of her, while they steal her unqiueness hold it in the palm of their hands and tease it for a while, Even two readings is not enough. I am not saying this because of my minute involvement in the poem. I am sure that everyone at passions will back me up this is an excellent piece of poetry. One that will provoke much thought ( and you know I think that is a good thing ). Thank you for allowing me to be part of this. < !signature--> A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-01-2000).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Melissa~ My mom always said two things to me while growing up..........it hurts to be beautiful and.........pretty is as pretty does. I didn't understand right away, but as I got older and had friends like what you describe above~ I understood. Excellent poem. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Melissa, this is a striking and significant piece of work, to be sure, and I can tell that you have put a lot of thought and creative effort into its construction. (Speaking of which, excellent title, as well) ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
It is indeed a terrible thing when a human being loses all sense of self esteem, a road of eventual destruction. Well thought out in this poem. Corinne |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
The title is perfect! You convey an important message and I think you do it well. In some cases society has much to answer for. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you everyone for the kind replies and for understanding my poem Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you have done a tremendous job here Melissa, its obvious how hard you worked on this powerful piece... excellent detail and imagery you have done a great job writing your own version of this.. yes, Bri's was excellent..I think it was the very first one of his i ever read in here... take care jm What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Superb Melissa, your growth as a poet is very evident in this piece. . . it shows all the pressure that we put on women to conform to our image of what is "beautiful" and what isn't. . . I learned a long time ago that all people are beautiful. . .in their own ways. . . I even touched on it in my own poem, "She's Beautiful. . .". You have done very well with this one, it's a fine piece and you have crafted it wonderfully. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Melissa, this is brilliant! Too many people are destroyed by impossible ideals forced upon them by society. You describe this so very well. Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is so powerful Melissa! This is such a poignant message for society ... and you've expressed it so wonderfully. I wonder how people would react if they could truly take the blinders off and: ~view the magazine photos 'before' they're airbrushed ... ~peek into the liquor and medicine cabinets of their "runway idols" ... and ~get the first morning look at the movie stars they idolize before the cosmetologists weave their magic. Thought-provoking and very well done Melissa! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A very powerful description of what society has done to many women. It's a topic that should be talked about with our daughters. You brought it all together in this brilliant poem Very well done, Melissa Liz |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Melissa, you've brought some really good points to the attention of the reader. There is a lot of truth in this poem and I can't deny it. Sadly the world wants to swallow all the Eves in the quicksand of free enterprize, only to eventually leave them hollow and worn to be finally thrown aside. Very very well done! I found it to be captivating. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow, thank you so much everyone, I am so glad that many understand what I am trying to say in this piece And, thank you once again to Brian for inspiring this out of meTake care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I enjoyed reading the message within this writing and I am glad that you have addressed this issue...in my experiences many women think exactly the way you have described...James |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Melissa A magnificant effort you have put in here, wonderful message portrayed...well done Well they pay the price in the end for their efforts to be not who they really are and that price is lonliness and an unhappy existance. great poem Melissa Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
James and Tracie, thanks for reading this poem and for understanding the important message Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Melissa--You have drawn a powerful picture of a problem that many girls face growing up in our society...Excellent, well thought out writing! |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
Melissa, no one poem has ever had the effect on me that this poem of yours did. I stay true to my favorites, but one single work has never moved me and made me look at myself as this one did. There were actually tears in my eyes, blurring the computer screen while I was trying to read this. Guilty, I am, of being a reconstruction...trying to please my husband and lose that five pounds that I really don't need to lose... Oh, look at me rambling on...Powerful, powerful words here my girl. Why don't I see a book next to this one? |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Martie: Thank you for reading my poem and for your sweet reply Sonjes: I am blown away by the imapct that it had on you, I am glad that you could take something from this poem, and that you enjoyed it, thank you! Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Melissa This work is powerful. It made me think about who I am, and where I am. I see, now, how I can be a better person because of what you wrote. It is clear that you put a great deal of work into this poem. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Seven Times, Melissa, Seven Times have I read this one before finally noting this one word. MOVING ... Why am I stuck up with only a single word... well thats all I am able to say.. Again and again, I have tried to put my thoughts bout this poem, but can't express it well enough... so I just repeat and say that this one is MOVING and PROFOUND (ah, there I got the second word now).... ... coming back to your introduction, I am reminded of a little something that I had written sometime back... I don't know if that fits - Beauty is yours to behold, Love, caress and fondle, But not with hands Or with eyes that see you, But with the mind that feels you. Beauty is never there to be seen, Like a ray from the sun Beaming from the window sill, But it is one to be felt Naked and running, As a fantasy deep within, A dream coming true. Life is that beauty You can never possess, For you cannot see What is yet to come, But that unknown factor is, What makes life so beautiful indeed ... Regards, sudhir. [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-06-2000).] |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you for reading this important piece, it means a lot, I am very glad that it moved you in some way and made you think, as that was my intentions Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I like Sudhir have read this many times. I am so moved by this it is hard to put into words. I have a daughter with whom I am going to share this with and I thank you for penning a rare jewel. (thanks noted to Brian as well). |
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