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Teen Poetry #3
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The night walked straight into my house...
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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The night walked straight into my house... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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The night walked straight into my house Took off her skin under the light Upon the chair, she placed her blouse Jumped into bed, right by my side And there, in silence, sparks ignited We burned in passion’s warm embrace And in our bodies, cells collided And in our minds, thoughts were laced So sudden, almost on a whim We fell in love, so wild, thrilling Fulfilled with pleasure to the brim We watched the smoke rise to the ceiling Upon the desk, the candle flickered From a seductive, tempting breeze It slowly melted and disfigured Upon the plate, its wax would freeze Its shadows danced, but light was fading Outside, through creaking of the frost I heard the chilly winds debating I closed my eyes and all was lost Woke up alone, half in dismay I found a note, which read in grieving “I’m sorry Love, I couldn’t stay I’ll make it up to you this evening” Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear master, absolutely beautiful... i'm not sure how to interpret this piece (or at least not quite sure how to do so correctly)... i can't decide if you have personified the night to such a great degree, discussing your bond with it... or whether the "night" is simply the symbol of a lover... either way, beautifully written and quite intriguing... the ending is sad, but with a ray of hope... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
 incredibly heartfelt! I love it! your words are beautiful. All of your work leaves me wanting more!  that's what we like to do! Keep it up! Love Always~*~Jessica Lynn~*~  "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves." "Bleeding hearts release tears of fire" "work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last" "Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon" |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
This is full of emotion and uses imagery that is very very powerful...especially 'night' and the candle which is atmospheric as well as symbolic. Great! "You could be my unintended Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse "Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith "Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs Several forms scurry to seek shelter Beneath her levitating shadow. Her back rigid , eyes glassy Gazes intently at time escaping Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles Through the hour glass, A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
N for the Soul, it was more of a personal bond with the night for me, but it could be read in both ways... I really don't think that this poem needs to be interpreted, it may touch different people in different ways. Thank you for responding, I wish I could read more of your work...(hint) SP17, I'm glad you liked it and thank you for your compliments, I'm blushing* Lani, thank you for your comments and welcome to the forum! Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Gorgeous Master...I too have that connection with the night and can relate well. You portrayed it with stunning beauty and great accuracy. I stand in awe of your talent.  *Krista Knutson* "Cherish your vision; Cherish your ideals; Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts. If you remain true to them, your world will at last be built." ~James Allen~ "We've made houses for hatred...it's time we made a place where people's souls may be seen and made safe"...~Jewel~ |
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