help me out w/a title......

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mr0001
Junior Member

since 2000-06-09

Posts 39

0 posted 2000-06-16 01:14 AM

thoughts drift in and out
through the cobwebs of my mind.
you try to find your way
into my head, my heart, my soul,
but you are caught off gaurd
by all the webs and walls.

you think you are what i need
to clear through the mass confusion.
you think you can brush away the webs
and you can break down all my walls,
but i've been trying for years,
to brush and break, yet they're still here.

i don't need you to pick at my brain
and tell what i'm going through,
i already know what i'm going through!
what i need you to do, is be there
when no one else can take me anymore,
to tell me that you love me just the way i am.

can you lie to me and tell me i'm ok?
will you comfort me when my walls
try to crumble and hold me when
the cobwebs try to clear away;
when you come face to face with who
i really am, will you still say "i love you"?

will you still be playing hero when
they tell you the cobwebs never go away
and the walls will never fall?
can i count on you to love me, even
when i say i don't love you back?
will you still love me then?

"crazy" is just who you are...amplified.

some people draw the outlines in life, i chose to add the color.

Snickers
Member

since 2000-05-25

Posts 88
East Haddam, CT

1 posted 2000-06-16 08:30 AM

I like this! It's really deep and I especially like the metaphors you used. As for a title how about "Cobwebs" or "The Cobwebs of My Mind" I think it would be appropriate if you chose something with cobwebs in it because you used that several times. Anyways, great work, and let me know what you decide to name it!

~<3 Alwayz~
**Nikki**

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

2 posted 2000-06-16 12:32 PM

This poem describes exactly the way I sometimes feel, yet I've never been able to organize my thoughts well enough to write it and describe it as accurately and beautifully as you have. Great poem...I can't think of anything else to say but I love it so much!
Much Love,
Kandi
Ps - I agree that the title should be something about cobwebs, or if not then maybe simply "Walls" ? Just a suggestion

< !signature-->

~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~

~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~

[This message has been edited by Kandi (edited 06-16-2000).]

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