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Jose Marti
Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 374
washing DC

0 posted 2000-07-17 02:39 AM

I love you
As the wind love the sea,
As the plam trees love the soil,
and the sand loves the waves.

I hope to remain here,
attached to you forever,
as the reef with the coral,
or as the coconuts to their tree.

So, if you're, ever lonley,
and you should chance to come across,
a palm, a coral,
or just cocnonuts on a tree,
then you're not really alone.

Just remember me,
remember this verse,
and remember the love I hold for thee.

Chel
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA

1 posted 2000-07-17 08:55 AM

Very interesting. That was a beautiful, but short poem. I liked it. Keep up the good work, and I hope that you find this person, and don't let her go.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front"
"Always do your best, you will always succeed"

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

2 posted 2000-07-17 12:18 PM

A beautiful symbol of undying love, my friend. Keep up the good work!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

3 posted 2000-07-17 12:46 PM

That was great, as always. keep it up
Bel

Linzi
Junior Member

since 2000-07-08

Posts 35
Pennsylvania, USA

4 posted 2000-07-17 01:44 PM

Nice poem! I loved the comparisons with the coconuts and coral...I think, however, that the poem could survive with out the last stanza, and be more original. The last part is kind of cliche and overused...maybe if you cut that and added a little more description and imagery to the rest, it would stand out a little more...just a suggestion! Anyways, it is truly a great poem!
By the way, I attempted to answer your question about my poem "midnight waltz" if you want to check it out!

Look forward to reading more!

~*~Linzi~*~

"Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia

Jose Marti
Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 374
washing DC

5 posted 2000-07-18 12:33 PM

Thanks eveybody, I'm glad you like my poem. Linzi you're right, The last lineis kind of cliché. I'll work on that. As usual, this poem is dedicated to a special somebody, She knows who she is.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2007-12-02 12:56 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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