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Teen Poetry #3
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Midnight Waltz
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Midnight Waltz |
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Linzi Junior Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 35Pennsylvania, USA |
With a stainless steel scowl, his head glows in a vibrant rage "I didn't mean to wake you sir, but I can't seem to sleep." 40 watts of Midnight Oil fuel his angry light As it's brightness invades my sleepy comfort Eye piercing incandescence, bouncing from thin, crisp canvases, neatly stacked and neon white, blinds my kaleidoscope eyes The sheets of white seem impatient As they wait to be deflowered, By a sharp graphite profaner. I'm mocked by their nudity, And powerless to stir the graphite lords, for all they do is sleep anymore They used to dance, effortlessly, on my command, A waltz. Across thin, crisp canvases, neatly stacked, and neon white Astonishing performances Eased the transitions, from one sleepless hour to the next on an endless insomniac's raid But tonight the dance floor is empty. All we do is sleep, anymore. ~*~Linzi~*~ "Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lindsay Yurcaba - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Very nice poem I liked it a lot. Keep writing like this. What exactly happed? Was it what I think it was? Try not to be offended by my ignorance, because I loved the poem. |
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Linzi Junior Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 35Pennsylvania, USA |
Jose Marti...ok, i shall explain...the first part: With a stainless steel scowl, his head glows in a vibrant rage "I didn't mean to wake you sir, but I can't seem to sleep." 40 watts of Midnight Oil fuel his angry light As it's brightness invades my sleepy comfort **Baically, I wake up in the middle of the night, and turn on a lamp (the "person" with a glowing head)...and ya know when you've been in the dark for a long time and your eyes are adjusted to it, then you turn on a light and you're almost blinded? That's what I'm trying to conveyEye piercing incandescence, bouncing from thin, crisp canvases, neatly stacked and neon white, blinds my kaleidoscope eyes The sheets of white seem impatient As they wait to be deflowered, By a sharp graphite profaner. I'm mocked by their nudity, And powerless to stir the graphite lords, for all they do is sleep anymore **The first part of this is to suggest the light bouncing off a stack of empty paper...and then the sheets are mocking me because i they're blank, and i can't think of anything to write..."graphite lords" are in fact pencils...and by "all they do is sleep anymore" I mean that they're just laying there, because i haven't picked them up to write anything. They used to dance, effortlessly, on my command, A waltz. Across thin, crisp canvases, neatly stacked, and neon white Astonishing performances Eased the transitions, from one sleepless hour to the next on an endless insomniac's raid But tonight the dance floor is empty. All we do is sleep, anymore. **This basically says that I used to wake up in the middle of the night and write for hours, but "tonight the dance floor is empty" means the pencils (lords) aren't dancing, or writing. So all there's left to do is sleep Does this make any sense? Is this what you thought it was about? Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!! ~*~Linzi~*~ "Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Hey there, I liked this poem very much and i am glad that you wrote it. It was very beautiful, but I don't think an explaination was neccessary. That's just my opinion. Well keep up the good work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Always do your best, you will always succeed" |
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Linzi Junior Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 35Pennsylvania, USA |
Chel...thanks!! i only gave the explanation because someone asked me to explain it...thanks for the compliment! ~*~Linzi~*~ "Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
This was such a beautiful poem. Your words are just amazing! I love the theme of the poem too. Keep up the great work. I love your poems. "We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other." -Luciano de Crescenzo- |
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The_Driven Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 60 |
First off let me say i REALLY enjoyed the poem in it's entirety. And the explanation you provided with it, made it all the sweeter. Very nice job! Keep up the good work. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Linzi! Very descriptive, wonderful wording ... really well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Wow, I all makes perfect sense to me now. How could I have been so blind. Very nice metephors. |
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TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
Beautiful depiction and use of metaphors. Explanation was not needed. Very creative way of expressing writer's block or the lack of inspiration. Well done. Thomas A. Plemmons "I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss The Dance" -Garth Brooks- |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Well, what can I say? AWESOME I had to reach out for the dictionary on this one |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
I have never seen anyone describe, regular houshold items, or something as simple as writers block in such a origional, imaginative, and interesting way. Good form and good job. jason. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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