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Teen Poetry #3
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If Only
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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If Only |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: OK this poem is kinda deep. It's deep in the sense that IF ONLY, the title, isn't the title. The poem itself states that the title should be different. Try and figure the title out. Shouldn't be that hard. Oh and while you're trying to figure it out, don't overlook the general message. Have fun! If Only: Your love is fading While mine runs true. If only 'if' was gone. If only 'if' was you. I yearn to kiss your lips, And embrace your soul. I simply desire For a new love mold. The nights lose meaning. The days are always blue. If only 'if' was dead. If only 'if' was you.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
well im too tired to analyze, but this was great *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i dont wanna analyze it! but hey ill go for it, i get that "if only" shouldnt be the titel buut the true title i still have to figure, i think i get the message too...o god my brain really hurts. Regina |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Sorry about the double post... [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 01-08-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, finally some sap from DD! I always wanted to see one of your love poems, man! This one is so precious! Truly touching, and well written. Keep it up, man. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
 -=Suga=- |
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CareBear3 Junior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 39New Hampshire |
You know when you have a relationship and you dont know everything about the person, so you fill in the gaps with your ideal person, and its like if only that person was really the one you were with. But then youre just like damn....cause you realize you created a fake person, and the if only turns into just a fantasy. Well there is my weak interpretation, but great job. I like it. "In great moments life seems neither right nor wrong but something greater it seems inevitable" ~Kelley |
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layla Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74 |
i think this poem was very creative and very deep, i enjoyed reading it, and i was thinking the title u were trying to say was "you only" and the reason i said that is because it seems u want to let go of all the regret and if only's and just have the person that u love= you only. maybe its a little far fetch but its just a guess. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Bravo Layla!!!! BRAVO!!!! You are completely right. Hahaha wow. I was beginning to get down because nobody wanted to analyze. The poem just states how my love for this woman is pure while her's fades. I'm obviously depressed about this. Now........IF......the word IF states doubt. I hate doubt when it comes to a relationship. IF ONLY basically means you WISH......you wish you could have that person. Now this poem is a depressing-oh-i-miss-you- love poem....but the poem really wants that IF to disappear. It wants to be named YOU ONLY. Thus, taking out the DOUBT (if) and putting in pure love (YOU). Wonderful job layla! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
uhm, great job. The poem wasn't confusing just the explainations for it. Anyways nice work. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice job layla.. i really didnt see that very well.. i cant analyze anything dopey another well formed poem, keep smiling bro. ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
good job layla, i woulda never gotten it! great poem dopey : ) Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
good job layla, i woulda never gotten it! great poem dopey : ) Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
argh, i knew it was too good to be true... and I thought DD was in lo~ve! lol Ah, well. Good silent message here. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
wow this poem was really good. perhaps your work might be published someday I have seen a change in your writing since i've been gone. I enjoy what you did with the title. |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Moi Bien! Moi Bien!!! Practicing my lovely Spanish skills again (I can't spell lol  ) Well I think this was very good!! Keep up the great work, love is rough!!Luv Always, Priscilla How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I actually understood this poem and what you were saying, I guess I was just to late to win the prized role of explaining it. *pouts* Oh well, great job "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Wicced_Witch Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 110Clarksville, TN, USA |
Great job. Should the true title be "You Only"...bc you said if only "if" was you? I don't know..to tired to think. Loved the poem though. Steff |
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