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| Teen Poetry #3 |
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never change |
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brendon2k Junior Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 38none |
frozen...in a...world somewhere...in your...eyes - had enough to say that i've lost you said i threw away thoughts were stolen all the times you have left me empty this time i'm trying - i'm...lying...broken - and i seem too captivated that sight is lost now ever since you now you push me - falling...to the...ground - easy opposed to - picking...myself up - blind enough to see how you hurt me don't care enough to leave know you can't change - leave me hopeless looking forward to this time torn apart an apologie... - you could...never...get |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is such a sad and deep poem. Some people find it hard to believe that you can still love someone who hurts you, but it's easy. The thing that isn't easy is loving yourself more and doing what's in your best interest. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
I love your beginning, I couldn't stop reading it after the first 2 lines! Great poem! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Well written. As lovebug said, it really is easy to love somebody who hurts you a lot. One of my theories on love is that it allows you to feel great extremes of hatred as well as love toward the individual, that if somebody you love does something to you, it hurts far more than if somebody you hate does. Of course, this is rather obvious. Just thought I'd mention it. Good poem. I can't wait to read more of your work in the future. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This formatting was quite different and added a great punch into the poem. Nice one here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i loved the pauses and starts of the poem... ...it created suspense and I looked forward to the next line great post and keep'em coming best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked the beginning as well, great job on the poem  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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