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Teen Poetry #3
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branden726
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI

0 posted 2000-12-03 05:33 PM


MY SMILE

My smile fake or real?
Who can tell?
When I smile I smile to please,
Come closer take a look at me,
Now you can see that this smile aint so real,
Your suprized but why,
Its always like this,
Theres a different me then the one you see,
The more depressed the more sicker me,
Oh wait just a sec....hold on!
Thats the real me.
Oh wait do you care?
The smile you thought we shared,
Its not so real now is it?
Nope dont think so,
In a couple of minutes my anger will speak,
It will give you a stick and tell you were to stick it,
The part that hurts is when you realized that the smile was so fake,
You didnt care thats the part that made me feel like dirt,
So fake smile of mine shine very brite because in about to minutes you will never see light!

© Copyright 2000 Branden Jacobs - All Rights Reserved
IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

1 posted 2000-12-03 05:48 PM


This is pretty cool.  I know exactly what you are saying.  when you said "The part that hurts... " I thaught you were still talking about sticking that stick somewhere and you were going to explain literaly what part hurts the most.  LOL.  Anyways I liked this read
IsGona

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2000-12-03 08:30 PM



  Wow, this was great..I know how it is to smile on the outside but be dying on the inside. It is a pretty terrible way to live...once again, terrific poem...

  ~Carly

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-12-04 03:26 PM


Branden, I think this poem does a great job of expressing your emotions, the attitude that shows in the wording makes the poem seem dramatic.  nice job.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
4 posted 2000-12-09 07:20 AM


WELL THANKS ONCE AGAIN GUYS I LOVE THIS POEM AND GUESS WHAT!!! I GOT A NEW ONE AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"


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