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Teen Poetry #3
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the death of our love
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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the death of our love |
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~unwanted~ New Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 7²h꣣ |
Make a path and let me through You'll die before i get to you Lying in a puddle of blood With your body face down in the mudd I'm running through thorns and trees I have blood trickling down my hands and knees I yell and scream out your name I can not find you I'm to blame I start to stop but hear a noise I listen closely it's your voice I run to the sound and there i see.. You lying there stairing at me I'll love you forever and always you say I run to the ground at which you lay I kiss your lips both bloody and cold You kiss me back and my hand you hold You start to speak But lose your breath I start to cry I caused your death This is for dave who's love died for me along time ago yet my love for him will always live ~§erena~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 §erena - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
welcome to the poetry forums..this was a really well written poem i enjoyed it..it was really sad and it is hard to love someone when they do not love u back..but stay strong.. |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Hi, welcome to passions. I liked your poem. The last stanza is very very emotionally strong. Good work. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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brendon2k Junior Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 38none |
Very good poem. Really emotional, I found it very powerful and moving. Keep up the good writing. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Unwanted! This is a very dark and graphic representation of the "death of love". You've expressed your emotions very vividly. Please do keep in mind we have readers as young as 9 in our Forums, so should there be a concern raised over graphic content, one of the moderators will let you know. I do hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (check your e-mail for a special message) Best wishes, /Kit |
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Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
This poem was awsome. It's sad though, and I don't know what I would do if I lost the one I loved like that or if I just lost him. This poem is one of my favorites that I've read, and you did a really good job. I'm adding it to my libary! ~Writing is filling up your soul with words~ --Me |
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~unwanted~ New Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 7²h꣣ |
thanx everyone that replyed im glade you guys liked it  ~§erena~ £ove is blind.. And it will take over you mind... What you think is love is truley not... You need to elevate and find.~Eve~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! Really good poem...you have a lot of talent and i cant wait to see more!!! |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. Welcome, and this was an incredible piece of work..just incredible... ~Carly |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
 Welcome to Passions I think this poem is very good, I like it. I hope to see you posting more and I hope you enjoy it here "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! this was a very sad post. I hope all turns out well for you in the end! keep postin.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! beautiful poem. what a first post to share. i'm sorry that life's failures is what led you to write such a beautiful poem. thanks for sharing  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Fearless_Angel Member
since 2000-10-03
Posts 57Calgary, AB Canada |
Hey Serena: Firstly, I'd like to welcome you to Passions. We're all good friends here and I know that I'm always here to listen if you have problems because I've had a tough time mylife. Miah ICQ is 64399384 so if you eva wanna chat, just gimme an "uh-oh" or e-mail me at Fearless_Angel@hotmail.com aiight? Wellz, your poem was beautiful! The words really touched my heart. I don't know how to explain, kinda like a deja-vu, I have one word to express my feelings... MAGICAL! I hope to hear more from you okies? Keep writing! Lotsa Love, Angel xoxoxo "Take care and remember that a certain innocent lil' Angel will alwayz be there for you..." |
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