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Teen Poetry #3
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I Couldn't Live Like That
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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I Couldn't Live Like That |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Author's Note: This does not pertain to me. It may pertain to some of my buds, but not to me!! I couldn't live my life like that, the way that you do. I couldn't bear to love like that, I can't be like you. I couldn't find it in my heart, to stay here very long. I couldn't teach my heart to sing, that same simple sone. I couldn't live my life like that, loving you in vain. I couldn't live my life like that, to you it's all the same. I couldn't live my like that way, wanting ever more. I couldn't live my life with you, everything was a bore. I couldn't live my life like that, wondering when I'll fall/ And if I had to live like that, I wouldn't want to live at all. Hmmm, just came up with this a sec ago. Wanted to throw it at you all to see what you thought. Bye! Allysa Don't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was nice. The repetition was nice. I thought it was ok but not as good as some of your others.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Allysa~ This one was really good...Its good that you have things set for yourself...Anf dont let anyone talk you (or your friends) into doing anything different... ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. I liked it. I really liked it. Good job. ~Carly Forever has ended, and never came too soon... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I think this is good, it really tells your thoughts well  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This was a great poem. In my last relationship i felt like this but i didn't realize it until it was over. Someone said something the other day and it was along the lines of "it's great to be in a relationship but make sure that you know you will be ok without him", which is sooo true! Curlz "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
for a poem you just came up with this is really good asylla  I'm very impressed with your ability to write. Makes me really jealous, hope i can just sit and come up with one, but i can't  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a very good piece. It's awful when you love someone but you know that you can't live with them. I'm glad that this doesn't apply to you, but you still portray the feelings very well. Keep it up! "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
gee thanks you guys, you make me smile! I'm glad you liked this. C-ya alls later!Allysa I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
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