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Teen Poetry #3
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hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2000-11-02 11:49 PM


This is one of my few poems that i have written to be founded to any kind of reality.  I actually wrote it while sitting at a picnic table beside a river.  See what you think.......


I sit alone in a familar place
It's not too cold, though i brought you just in case
The river sits there cold and still
I'm not sure why i'm sitting here but i soon will
I pull out a picture, the one i have of you
I stare at it intently wondering again of the past
What might have been comes to mind again
These thoughts again dawn my mind like before
I freeze on the surface but the inside i'm not sure
Your face so delicate and soft
Still I grasp the piture alone, now in the dark
It's now so cold in the dark, where are you?
I need you and your no where to be found
I put my head in my hands, the cold goes so deep
I'm lost in thought, even to lost to weep
I stare at the dark image that was in my hands
I wonder of past and present yet still uknown
Why do i sit here so cold and alone?

Swift as a shadow, short as any dream;
Brief as the lightning in the collied night,
That in a spleen unfolds both heaven and earth,
And ere a ma

© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
Stephanya
Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 63
Berkshire County~USA~
1 posted 2000-11-03 03:48 AM


I like your poem. It makes me think of my X. If you are writing abotu yourself...It's good to sit and think of your past and all of your good memories, but don't let it get you down. You have your life ahead of you. I'm almost 19, and I've been in here for almost a year now (I have a different name now though). As you can see the 2 poems I just posted are about 2 totally different people. One is about my X who totally crushed me by betrayal, mistrust, ETC. Although NOW I found someone new. Yes it took meabout 10 months to finally move on, but I'm doing great now. I found someone a million times better than him. Keep your head up high, and keep writing. Look forward to reading more.  

(:***stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-11-03 01:19 PM


I liked what you said at the beginning of the poem saying that you wrote it at the side of a river at a picnic table. It gives me this serene mood. Anyway the poem itself was pretty sad......i hope you get all warm and stuff. Even i get cold, and i live in Puerto Rico.......and island paradise where the lowest it'll ever get is 70. Anyway.....keep posting bye!!




"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-11-03 03:10 PM


I like the poem a lot   I think that it's very good even though it's kind of a downer.  Good job and I hope if this is happening right now that you feel better soon.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2000-11-04 10:39 PM


Very well written. Expressions well conveyed.  just do me a favor, keep your head up, ok?  keep sharing  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2000-11-05 11:45 AM



  Hey. The picture painted by these words was incredible. I loved it. Have a sunshine day!!
  
   ~Carly

747 fell out of Heaven
Crashed through the roof of a 7-11
You're working on a slurpee
Things get hazy
Reach for a twinkie now you're pushing u

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