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Moon_Hunter
New Member
since 2000-09-04
Posts 7


0 posted 2000-10-21 02:10 PM


Hi everybody, sorry I haven't wrote in a while but I've been busy with school and all.  This poem I wrote is about the need that people have to attain perfection.  I find that people try to achieve the impossible goals for nothing.  If you're wondering, I don't know anybody who is like this, but I hear about it everyday.  Girls who are annorexic and stuff like that.  It is completely crazy.

Perfections Price

You stare blindly at the pictures
Of a perfect person
Their cosmetically enhanced bodies
Seem to mock you

Each day you attempt
To attain this dream of perfection
Thinking that your dress size
Determines your self worth

Yet the days go by
And still every imperfection
Seems to mock you
As you stare into the mirror
As each flaw disappears
You invent new flaws
That seem impossible to get rid of
Yet you are willing to pay the ultimate price

Each day
You slowly wither away
Growing sick and weak
No longer recognizing yourself

Then one day you reached perfection
As you lay on a stretcher
Dying of starvation
Yet you were happy since you had achieved
Your goal of perfection

© Copyright 2000 Moon_Hunter - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-10-21 02:25 PM



  Hey. WoW, this was really well written and way too true...the last stanza was really powerful...



The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
~Isaiah 9:1-2

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2000-10-21 02:26 PM


  Hey. WoW, this was really well written and way too true...the last stanza was really powerful...happy writing..

   ~Carly
poop sorry about that double post!!!!!!
< !signature-->

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
~Isaiah 9:1-2


[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 10-21-2000).]

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-10-21 05:40 PM


This is a good poem you've written about this sad subject.  Great writing!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2000-10-21 06:15 PM


Wow...this poem was extremely powerful. I can relate to that need of perfection. My need didnt take me over so much to as resulting in lying on a stretcher but it got pretty bad. Great poem...hope to see more of that! It was great =o)

Each day
You slowly wither away
Growing sick and weak
No longer recognizing yourself

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-10-21 11:54 PM


I say.......to hell with perfetion!
Great thoughts and a nicely written poem.



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
6 posted 2000-10-22 01:27 AM


people just don't like living with insecurities..easy enough to understand...great poem man

I can only see through your eyes
This is how i die

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

7 posted 2000-10-22 12:40 PM


Hey that was great!  Um....hesitant to admit that this kind of describes me, I'm the perfectionist.    Well...all except the last stanza.....wow it was great though!  So yeah keep it up
Bel


[This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (edited 10-22-2000).]

LoveBug
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Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

8 posted 2000-10-22 02:45 PM


This is some really powerful writing. Although no human can achieve perfection, the closest ones achived with what they have within themselves, not outward appearances. If we all could just forget about appearances... well, the world would be a step closer to perfection.

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.



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