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Teen Poetry #3
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Caught in a tear
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Caught in a tear |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: ok the little side note next to the title means this.....my 1st and only girlfriend lasted for 2yrs. One whom i truly did love.........ask San. My love wasn't this cheap misinterpretation of teenage lust. Mine was as real as real could get. I'm sure San will comment on this poem and tell you all about it....in fact, i want him too. So here's the poem i wrote SECONDS after i got dumped. Caught in a Tear: - Written a few minutes after the end of my all - My rose had died. My tree just tore. I lived a lie, The life I wore. My heart still beats. My blood stands still. I defy all feats. My love windmill. My light has faded. My souls a mess. The surface jaded. The heart break confess. My tears run dry. My smile all worn. I lived a lie. A life all torn.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
well i really dont know what is it that dope wants me to tell you bout his relationship. but heres a little overview. it lasted for 2 years, it had its ups and downs but you could tell that dope had something more than just the everyday kind of love. me being a illusionist and a perfectionist idealize love pretty much he does, he apparently found it, for a short while. when everything was going the best it was going (atleast i saw it that way) summer came and all hell with it, everything went mostly wrong for everyone (ill have some info on this in my site later). everyone includes dope, and then started the painfull reconstruction process (see my poem "3rd person introspect") that has lasted for a while... San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
very well expressed Dopey. Awesome. this is one of those that deserve a standing ovation, specially this line: "I lived a lie, The life I wore." Marvelous!!! I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Nicely written Javier! Your words express the sorrow and futility of this painful moment well. Nice form and rhymes, it reads smoothly (like the title for this too). Well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Kit stole all of my thoughts on this one. So I'll just say I agree with her and wonderful job on this one. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well id like to thank San for giving a brief over view of it all. I'd also like to thanks acire for the kick butt compliments and kit for hers and liking the title (i do too)..... lakewalker, you know your the man..hahaha. "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
you knwo how much i love this!! keep it up!!!! ~*Justine*~ |
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