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Teen Poetry #3
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Don't go away (plz some replies???)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Don't go away (plz some replies???) |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
I see you as I want to < !signature-->I see you as I can But all the things I see in you Just seem to fade away, when I get to know Get to know that All the things are to good Just to good to be true So I'll ask you one more question... Could you hold my hand before I drift away Could you hold my hand and make me here to stay Could you hold my hand and only say Don't go away..... Make me here to stay Make me proud to be, be here with you Make me stand strong, make me alive Just make me the person that I want to be You can tell me you don't have to you can tell me that I'm wrong But til that time, could I Could I...please ask you one more question... Could you hold my hand before I drift away Could you hold my hand and make me here to stay Could you hold my hand and only say Don't go away..... Just let me Let me Let me Let me And don't go away Just don't go away Just beg me Beg me Beg me Beg me Just beg me to stay Ask me one more question Before you go away Ask me if I could only stay Ask me if I just won't go away Could you hold my hand before I drift away Could you hold my hand and make me here to stay Could you hold my hand and only say Don't go away..... Just don't go away... Ok, this is my first attempt in songwriting (oh no, actually my second...but the first one was just a weird punky song...)  hehe, I dunno if it's quite finished yet...maybe I'm gonna change it later or sumtin...hehe, only have to find a band to sing it  sooo....just tell me what you think of it!! luvz, VS!! Experience of survival is the key To the Gravity of Love ~*~Enigma~*~ [This message has been edited by Virgin Suïcide (edited 09-27-2000).] |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Songwritting? That is it? This sounds like a sweet poem to me poem or song its still great to me. This will make not only a perfect song but a perfect poem Peace Branden "what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Oh, I like this one! I think it's great  |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey this was kickin!! Very nice work. Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line. I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine. Better days are |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
a song hmmmmmm???? Well, I was singin' it as I was readin' it because that's how it sounded to me!! Sweetness!!! Can you tell me, is it good or bad to fall asleep in detention???  Love ya!!!! AllysaDon't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
VS~~~Girl this is beautiful...Ok its perfect...I like it!!! Keep it up cause I like!!!We have a multitalented girl here!!!It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I was actually trying to figure out a melody to the lyrics...but i aint that good in music. awesome I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
heya!! thanx all!! Well, I'm at home (duh) feeling really sick and really bored..I'm watching sydney2000 *ohw goodie...* but the dutch hockeyteam isn't winning yet...*dammit* branden: thank you!!! Well, it was supposed to be a poem, but it was getting longer and longer, so I thought, why shouldn't I make a song of it? Lakewalker: THANK YOU!!!!! Child of the Stars: THANK YOU!!! Allysa: Uhm...I guess it's quite good... hehe, that's what I'm doing mostly!! LUV ya!! *o yeah,  thank you!! ERIN: o yeha! hehe, glad you liked it!!! LUVZZZ!!!!!!acire: hehe, too bad I can't *sing* it to ya!!  thanx!!!Experience of survival is the key To the Gravity of Love ~*~Enigma~*~ |
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Caz Member
since 2000-09-13
Posts 133Concepción, Chile |
Sorry for taking so long to reply, but I've been kind of busy. Woooow, that's all I have to say, this is great. Hey, when you're famous, please remember us and get me a date with Britney Spears, ok. Bye. It's been raining since you left me. |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
hehe...thanx, but I don't think I'll get that famous!!! but...in case I do, I'll thikn about it!!! luvz ya! Experience of survival is the key To the Gravity of Love ~*~Enigma~*~ |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Well this was a great poem and it is a good song also. I was reading it and I started singing it as well. The words kinda give you a tune if you read it just right...you can feel a rhythm flowing from it. Does that sound fruity to anyone else, but me? "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
heya!!! thank you!! hehe, I wanna know how everyone (...) is singing it!!!! wanna know if it's like the way I do!!! luvz, VS Experience of survival is the key To the Gravity of Love ~*~Enigma~*~ |
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