Teen Poetry #3 |
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Temptations |
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Misty Blue Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 44 |
Temptations What is it? That makes me wanna see your face What is it? That makes me long for your embrace What is it? That makes you leave without a trace What is it? That makes you wanna touch me What is it? That makes you wanna hold me What is it? That makes you wanna kiss me What is it? That keeps us apart What is it? That begs you to stay What is it? That wants you here today |
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© Copyright 2000 Misty Blue - All Rights Reserved | |||
Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to your question. But if I did, would you really want to hear it? Knowledge may be tempting, but often times ignorance is truly bliss. Good work. Lalalala ---------------------- Spreading insanity, one post at a time “Writing about darkness comes easily for me. I just close my eyes and write what I |
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Pimpin Poet New Member
since 2000-08-28
Posts 5 |
That was really good. if it's about somebody you should let them know wassup. No I aint sayin me. Keep on writin ya word. One Luv, Pimpin Poet |
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Pimpin Poet New Member
since 2000-08-28
Posts 5 |
That was really good. if it's about somebody you should let them know wassup. No I aint sayin me. Keep on writin ya word. One Luv, Pimpin Poet |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
the thing about this poem is this: First your like saying that you dont know what it is that makes YOU want this person and why he/she disappears bla blabla...but then you're like .....what is it that makes YOU wanna kiss me?"....... so the person wants YOU aswell.....so i dont understand why you can't be together.....why he/she dissapears...explain. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Misty~~~I agree with Dopey...First you are saying something is tempting you to want this person...And how temptation made him leave without a trace...And then it made you want him back...I dont know I think that you should have put "that makes you leave without a trace" more towards the end where you put "that wants you here today"...But anyways it was pretty good to me!!! ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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