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| Teen Poetry #3 |
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X_me_X Junior Member
since 2000-08-18
Posts 37 |
hey guys im glad to be a part of passions thanks for welcoming me. hope you like my poems!! i wrote this one when i wus desperately in love with sumone...secretly. and to make things worse he wus my first love...this "poem" got everything out...that is why its kinda long..i think its more like a letter..too bad ill never give it to him hehe I duno what makes you so tangled in my thoughts all the time. theres somethin about u i cant explain that has me under a spell. before i knew u had another one in ur dreams i thought i hadda chance and clung to that with my every breath but still i go on thinking theres hope.i made u think i have another on my mind too, but you are the only one i dare dream of. I told you i loved you but i lied, the truth is i still do. u smiled friendly, laughed jokingly in return saying some day i will too. little did you know i took ur words to heart, and thought about them all day and all night...you told me you had another one on ur mind, whose smile makes your whole world bright. shes the one you wanna hold tight..you told me about her and i faked happiness and forcingly smiled, but inside i cried, my hopes instantly died. i had painted a picture of us together. when i found out i had no chance i thought that picture would fade but instead it got bright...bright as the sunshine, bright as daylight i cannot take it anymore, i try to tell myself im over u, that i dun need u and that we will never be but deep down inside my heart is with you and you will not let it go. and unless you do my picture wont fade. we both have love to give but your not willing to trade. you have my heart and that doesnt make me proud. im stuck on the shoreline scared and insecure when i could be out sailing the sea... my love is not easy to obtain, its even harder to retain...and youve done both. you have won me over and you dun even know it. your the only one i see my soul wanting to dance with..your the first one i let into my heart....but she has taken over yours. and everytime you talk about her it will jus break my fragile bleeding heart, and ur words will cut my soul like the sharpest of blades. i am tired..my heart is weary..my soul is too..my heat is tired of loving you...my soul is tired of needing you...and me, im just tired..tired of being tired...you have worn me out in a way that ive never been worn out before...i wanna be free again..i want to be free of loving you but you wont let me..im a slave to your sweet words...they get me every time..my heart is a slave to your warm touch..it burns my being with desire everytime... i want to break away from loving you..i wanna stop owing to myself..i want to move on but i cant..im stuck, i cannot seem to go forward and i know that i cannot go backwards....so im trapped...trapped in a painful love..all becuz im so hung up on u...hung up on you and on my dreams that we will some day be and that they will somehow someday finally come true. ~All is forgiven but NEVER forgotten~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 X_me_X - All Rights Reserved | |||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Hey* This was pretty good. You might want to put it in a poetry form tho so it doesnt get locked. But i encourage you to write more!  ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Hey* This was pretty good. You might want to put it in a poetry form tho so it doesnt get locked. But i encourage you to write more! ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
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X_me_X Junior Member
since 2000-08-18
Posts 37 |
hey, im new to writing so im free to any suggestions that would improve my work...neways thanks for your suggestion... but what do u mean so that it doesnt get locked? hehe sorry im kinda slow. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
this is really good!!!  oh and DQ means "locked"...so they dont close it...then people can only read it and not reply...dont make it look like it is a story...~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Well this is very good, full of emotion. Great writing Keep it up! |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Good poems, real feelings those are what really counts. Oh yeah and locking or "closing" a thread does happen on occasion, if they feel it is inappropriate or not poetry; they're pretty serious about locking threads, so maybe if you added more line breaks or something. Good luck, we all were new here once upon a time! Jenn |
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