»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Long Gone
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Long Gone |
|
|
mr0001 Junior Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 39 |
i give you nearly all of me in hopes that you'll love me it doesn't bother me anymore you are just like all the rest i don't know what makes me think that giving you what you want will in the end make me happy you just use me up and then go but i don't blame you, i use you too. if i didn't want it, i would stop. this is the safest way for me no emotion - no affection all the lust and hormones are my love, your love, our love. we are no better than that. you don't love me, i don't love you, we don't even know each other but this will have to do for now. one day i'll find somebody, somebody that doesn't care about the lust and the hormones, but will teach me what real love is, and you'll be long gone. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 mr0001 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear mr: this is sad, but too often true in today's teenage world... i'd love to give you more of a critique, but i know next to nothing about what makes good free-verse, so i wont try to disect it any farther than the meaning  sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is so true, and I'm glad that you can see this relationship for what it really is, before you give this person more than you already have. Good writing. PS-Welcome to passions! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
||
|
mickel2995 Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48 |
First good post! Your free writing is good and still makes sense. Nice work!! Micale |
||
|
Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
