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Teen Poetry #3
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'Help with a title??
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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'Help with a title?? |
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lupigirl Junior Member
since 2000-06-16
Posts 19Mequon, Wisconsin |
The sun beats effortlessly on my brow Beads of sweat roll down as tears My soul is dry, lonely, longing, thirsting The hours tick by slowly An endless desert road Through the sandstorms I am blinded I reach for your hand I can't find it I call out your name There is no reply How long must I wander alone through this wasteland? When will I find the oasis of your company? My ears hunger to hear your voice My mouth thirsts to reply My legs crumble like dust beneath me My body weak from lack of nourishment I feel I cannot go on alone But my heart beats steadily Driving me onward, forward I will find you We shall eat and drink together once again |
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| © Copyright 2000 Heather Renee - All Rights Reserved | |||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
hmm...how about "Finding You" ?? ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
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monique Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369Louisiana |
Hey! i love this cry in the desert I mean, i don't want you to be sad but it is a sweet lament in the storm monique |
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SweetPoet17 Member
since 2000-08-04
Posts 108 |
Deserted Heart Desert Heart Desert Tears |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"How long must I wander alone through this wasteland? When will I find the oasis of your company?" Beautiful sentiments and so full of imagery Lupigirl! This was just lovely!  I love SweetPoet17's suggestions for titles, any of these would compliment this poem beautifully. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Regina New Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 7montreal, quebec, canada |
great poem its really beautiful. sometimes poems dont need a title they speak for themselves, I think this is one of those kinds of poems. good luck with your other poems ~ReGiNa~ |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
beautiful, truely a dazzeling piece... i don't know, but how about "sandy tears" for a title, I'm not real great at that. keep these good ones coming... salooma |
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lupigirl Junior Member
since 2000-06-16
Posts 19Mequon, Wisconsin |
Thanks for the suggestions, guys... I really appreciate it... Just so you guys know, I'm not really depressed or anything, I just struggle with lonliness sometimes. Thanks for caring and SMILE!! |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I really, really love this! It's great! Whenever I can't think of a title, I just use a word I used several times in the poem. Like, I might call this one 'thirsty' or something like that. Be cool. *~Meredith~* Somebody stop the world, I want to get off! *me |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
This was lovely. How about Oasis? It seems to fit well with the theme. I really injoyed the piece. When you are old and grey and full of sleep, And nodding by the fire, take down this book, And slowly read, and dream of the soft look Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep; How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love false or true, But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, And loved the sorrows of your changing face... William Butler Yeats |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
In Search of Nourishment? When will I no Longer be Without? Missing You? Nice poem. Jenn |
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