Dark Poetry #2 |
tawny |
Cowgirl Jane New Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 8 |
tawny tassels flying, large black sequins flashing, skirt riding high, I approached you. My faux eye glasses perched, lusty in their red glittered frames.... Lenses reflecting you. I moved hippily to your table, Leaned onto its top, And,dropping a mini-globe of sweat onto my forearm, Said, breathlessly, "Hello." |
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© Copyright 2000 Cowgirl Jane - All Rights Reserved | |||
Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
A very sexy, breathy first poem... welcome. I enjoyed this a great deal. |
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gothicmoth Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89 |
Yes welcome! This elicited quite a discussion between Portia and myself. I love the rhythm and the image. Keep up the great work. |
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ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
Oooh, spicy lol. I loved the image, a very sexy poem. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Welcome to Passions!! Loved the flow and feel to this, a woman in command and in control. Go girl!! Keep it up I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Hi! Loved it!! lol Imagery from youth? |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Yes. This is really snappy, conveying all the excitement of the moment. I think it's particularly effective when you cut it off there, with the "hello". Hi, and Welcome, BTW! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
You want to dance?? hahaha. welcome to passions. This is an entrance wow. haha love the feel, I guess any man would. haha GREAT.... keep it coming. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
this is a great and wonderful poem. i long to read more of your work. and but yes welcome to the world of dark passions I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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Cowgirl Jane New Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 8 |
Thanks to all for the feedback. It is much appreciated. ) --Jane |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Hello Uhmm I mean welcome to passions in poetry Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
HEY, I remember you!! Let's see...was it San Francisco, no...Denver, no.....uhh, was it Puerto Rico...no.....oh now I know: It was ALL those places!!! Thanks for bringing back some good memories to an old sailor...LOL Super poem...loved it. Hardrock |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
so vivid this one!! i know there are a few male poets up in here with hearts racing and blood pounding after reading this one!! great work!!! welcome! kynder A woman to a man is But a mere chapter, But a man to a woman Is an entire book.-- Kynder Howell |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Jane you have described my kind of waitress so perfectly...I almost felt like I was in the room...I wish I was there in the room...I'd like to have steak and eggs with rye toast...and lots of coffee...loved the way you wrote this... James |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
I'm sorry, but I just loved this so much I had to come back and comment again. It was so vivid, so descriptive.....I felt as if I was there. I could almost smell the place. This is a keeper....and should go into the book. Super work........Hardrock |
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