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Dark Poetry #2
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I Became
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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I Became |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia 
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when they planted the seed, i became their flower when they nurtured the soil, i became indentured when they prayed for abundance, i became their harvest when they were leaders, i became their follower when they wanted power, i became their supporter when they wanted to teach, i became their student when they wanted safety, i became their protector when they lost their sight, i became their eyes when they misplaced their soul, i became their faith when they were a raging ocean, i became the drowned when they were royalty, i became the jester When they were laid to rest.....I Became Freedom. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dawn van Krieken - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Now this one I really like! What an image! What an idea! I love these lines: when they were a raging ocean, i became the drowned when they were royalty, i became the jester Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Good story here, I especially like the ending. Very good poem. "If a man moves you to feel like a woman, the least you can do is let him." Merrit Malloy |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Loved the whole thing!! Great comparisons, wonderfully written!!! |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
I saw images of a child and her parents....an entire lifetime devoted, spanned. Well done princess...Hardrock |
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moshpit Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 143cebu, philippines |
When they were laid to rest.....I Became Freedom. what a nice way to end it.. great work, poutprincess. |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
Thanks to everyone for the lovely responses to my poem...and yes, Hardrock, it is about a child and her parents and the hardships some children endure when parents have no respect for their kids. Thanks again! Blessed Be...........poutprincess |
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