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Dark Poetry #2
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Swimming in a Sea of Sickness
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Swimming in a Sea of Sickness |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Swimming in a Sea of Sickness Swimming in a sea of sickness, thick with impure thoughts and stale breath. Eyes red and burning from the smoke above the water's surface. Smiles tainted and hands stretched in some kind of dragging fashion. They'll pull you down to keep them up. They're swimming for themselves. Keeping themselves afloat above the dark weeds that beckon them and me. The sharpness under the sickly water stings when it splashes in your face. It's all their rot. It's all my rot. This place is pretend and I'm not really here. I'm not swimming anymore but I'm up. I'm up and aware of this disease all of them carry. They smile and are holding and are numb to their own existence. If I do hit the bottom and decide to dwell there,... not one of them would come. Not one of them would notice. I wouldn't save them either now that I think about it. I'm not cruel but they are not real and I'm not here so nobody is going to hit bottom and drown. It's all in my head, these stupid people and their fake freakin' smiles that singe the layers from my eyeballs. They aren't here right now but they ruin me. They erase all my faith and all the good in me. They steal it and lock it. They aren't here like I said but they're evil. I'm spinning and this isn't even a poem but it's coming out and it's in my head and it's leaking and you're listening. I got you this far. She's back you see, she thinks she's swimming. She's still there with those hollow souls by the ocean in the water's sickness. She's taking me and I'm going. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 07-04-2000).] |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~*burp*,....this is exactly how it came out so that's how I posted it. You will notice silly things like a sentance with 4 negatives which I know is not proper but this is how it came so this is how you get it. Haha. Take care. *Peace. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow! what a subject. And I think it flowed well also. So whats a few extra negatives between friends? "If a man moves you to feel like a woman, the least you can do is let him." Merrit Malloy |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Cathardic, wasn't it? That "mind burp" you had? Just to open up your mind and let it flow, without manipulation? But, Girlfriend, you gotta start picking the stems out of that stuff you're smoking...LOL (Just ribbing ya) Hardrock |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Haha,...listen dude, I don't smoke anything. Honest. These wierd little things go through my head and I just feel the need to share them with you. Haha. Thanks bunches for the replies. Hardrock,...you kill me. LOL. *Peace. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Hey it's more than a mind burp, it's more like a mind spew!! LOL Share it? Of course you can and should? Sometimes it's amazing what goes through one's head, and it's interesting to sticky beak into others!!  Perhaps you are more gifted than I for I always try to put logic and sense and rhythm and all into it.. Great stuff burp or spew anytime hon I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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demoninlove Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211Dehradun |
WOW - You have really poured it all out. Need to study this one. Powerful stuff Deepak |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I recommend Dramamine. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Wow now this is a read kind of different and just came out like this so do keep it up i like to see kind of dofferent things with different ideas which always makes for a great read do keep it up my friend enjoyed very much. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
I swear, I would love to take your brain out and roll it around the campus commons just to see what spills out. Got anything else up there you want to share....hmmmm? You are TOO much!!! Love ya anyway....Hardrock |
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ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
Wow...I felt a lot of denial and almost submission in this poem. Great work. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Where is my head It's rolling Pounding!! Those drivers so pure evil Slow down your going to fly off the earth Where are my pants Is there someone there that can dance Lets go wild, give everything Stay up till tomorrow Shout real loud! And again!! Spit off the bridge Open doors for old people Run down the road screaming Stop traffic Wow! That's fun SpitFire! I did that in 30 seconds A neat challenge for my keyboard skills And emptied wherever my mind went within But there was a lot more just couldn't keep up with the thoughts and some things just not allowed to say!! Interesting what you've invented Someone else try! Something about your…. Ahh! Interesting poem SpitFire! |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Glad to see you getting it all out. Four negatives and all!!!! LOL. Great writing. Take care. LW Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. --William Wordsworth |
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