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Dark Poetry #2
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| Dark Poetry #2 |
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gothicmoth Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89 |
I knew then yet had no proof I did not run from blue-leaf-cloudy eyes smoke-filled mouth refused to speak I could not blame poltergeists left with material excuse I will not stay if not wanted not needed not loved a vampire dies on poisoned blood |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Well done gothicmoth.....I really like the ending...maybe not for what you had originally intended it to be like. A vampire needs blood and yet sometimes it is the things that we need that kill us...even if we have them...they could be false..or poisoned. Sorry for all the rambling...I was just thinking out loud. Excellent poem! D.E. Listen to your heart for it knows the way even when you don't. ~*Angel of Darkness*~ "So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No, the big moments are gonna come...you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you really are. You'll see what I mean..." -Whistler *+Daughter of Darkness+* |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
gothicmoth, this poem really hit me. Betrayed by someone you love yet you can't proove it? This happened to me too (ages ago). A terrible gnawing feeling, so perfectly expressed. Love it! (BTW, please correct me if I'm wrong about your meaning  )Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
Haunting... I don't know what else to say. |
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gothicmoth Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89 |
I sort of used the cut and paste technique on this one. I had written the first 13 lines in a different order and then moved them around to see what happened. The last two lines wrote themselves. Yes, it is about not being able to prove something so a tangible excuse is made up to get out of the situation. I hope it's a fleeting ghost, Portia. |
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ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
Fleeting Ghost.....hehe Beautiful poem. Very thought provoking. |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
very powerful piece. thank you!! makes ya think kynder The years teach much which the days never know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
great poem it sets a story line in few words and tells the betrayel from a loved one |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
Still strength within even but not knowing for sure. "I knew then yet had no proof I did not run from" Yet you did not run. simply wonderful. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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