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Dark Poetry #2
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Broken Ties
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Broken Ties |
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baerlon Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 197Youngstown and East Liverpool, Ohio, USA |
My steps are the same Forward I go, yet here I remain My sprit is lifted Only to be coerced forever in silence As second hand ticks forward My mentality falls back I allow everyone to see Shangri-la and wonderland Yet every thing within my view is Sheol and Pain I never wanted to become this way But in reality I never wanted to be any way There are shadows of hope Until the light scares it away Which is why, day after day my steps are the same Forward I go, yet here I remain There's a peace inside us all Let it be your friend It will help you carry on In the end There's a peace inside us all -Creed |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jason M. Mays - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Baerlon, This is very good, and I can understand what you mean by putting on a kind of show outwardly, but inword you stand still in your unhappy world, the lines, There are shadows of hope Until the light scares it away Forward I go, yet here I remain, are very good, thank you for sharing this one I really liked it and wish you the very best. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
A very good piece, enjoyed the read. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
really liked this one,it was very well written,those first few lines are really eye catchers. Sometimes when i don't like the first few lines of a poem,i just don't read it,this one kept me interested.Great work!! samantha "All art is an expression of pain."~John Lennon |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
wow... I really liked this one. It took a few to sink in, but when it did, your words had quite an impact. Very well written. Sheila |
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baerlon Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 197Youngstown and East Liverpool, Ohio, USA |
Thanks all your words are kind. I write to relieve the stress and you people are great support. There's a peace inside us all Let it be your friend It will help you carry on In the end There's a peace inside us all -Creed |
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