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catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2000-11-20 10:21 PM

Wrapped tightly in cellophane
tucked away
behind dreams
slightly to the right of
happiness
under an old piece of cake
lies my half eaten love
getting colder by the day.
Forgotten,
no longer appealing.
Soon it will be trashed-
dumped at the curb for pick-up.
Nothing left
of my leftover love.

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

1 posted 2000-11-20 10:38 PM

Wow... what a sad, poignant nod to a failed marriage.

I love how you used that frozen piece of wedding cake, tucked away in the freezer as if to preserve everything about the wedding day itself (like so many people do). And yes, it somehow symbolizes the dreams a couple share when entering into a marriage.

A beautifully sad piece.

Sweet and bitter at once.

Bravo!

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

2 posted 2000-11-21 11:43 PM

Good work! I like the feeling of loss that this poem inspires.

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

3 posted 2000-11-22 03:33 PM

Cat,
Sad, but what a great analogy.

Joy

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

4 posted 2000-11-22 08:05 PM

Indeed a great analagy but there will always be some leftovers worth holding onto. For you never know when you might need them (or need to recall them).
Remember the good hon, they are always precious memories..
Isis

*I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

firecrakker
Member

since 2000-10-20

Posts 235
Virginia

5 posted 2000-11-22 09:09 PM

I have to agree with the others.. excellent analogy.. It really suits that feeling you have when you feel discarded. Wonderful write!

Sheila

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

6 posted 2000-11-23 06:25 PM

Sandra,
Boy......this is a perfect poem, as far as I'm concerned. It has a really neat image thing going, along with the thoughts. Great writing, my good friend!!

Write on!
-<--<--{(@

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