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Dark Poetry #2
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| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Collective |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
i wrote this just now so it's not very good so please critisize away.. i was born into the pack just to prove you wrong i swallow my umbillical cord now it's possible to die i bleed on your pearl white eyes it soaks into the vision there's too many lies to ignore there's not enough death to control you to be ashamed is to follow suit join the robots in the systematic decline my eyes are a dagger my blood is a poison drink me down and retreat from the light i take one final lasting breath to see if i really hurt you we walk through life not knowing each other yet you programmed me to self-destruct and there's no one you can trust Now night arrives with her purple legions Retire now to your tents & to your dreams Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth I want to be ready. - JM |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I liked this one. It conjured up images and memories from the experiences I've had when not following the crowd. At least that's what my interpretation of the poem was. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
It's a vivid piece and detainly well written and sometimes true.Frued would have a ball with this thought. excellent poem Be well Kethry. "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
i really liked the line "i take one final lasting breath to see if i really hurt you." it just worked really well. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
hello anomaly, yes I have decided to branch out of teen poetry #3. I have a Prose posted up in that prose place and now i think i'll rest my body here in the dark passions for a while. The poem, once again, titulates my mind into utter pleasure. hahaha you know i liked it. Keep posting. Oh and by the way, you shoulda told me you had poems up in this house. I woulda came sooner!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
hey man cool but please keep posting in teen passions also..that is where i mostly post everything for the most part..sometimes i might come over here to post something..but man stay true to the teens..heh..thanks for the comments Now night arrives with her purple legions Retire now to your tents & to your dreams Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth I want to be ready. - JM |
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