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Dark Poetry #2
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The 5 Senses
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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The 5 Senses |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
I can smell something fishy going on and my mouth is dry. I can feel the piercing stare of a menacing eye. I can hear the echo of footsteps creeping up behind me. I can taste the fear of the cold sweat that runs down my face; Salty. I can see the horrific shadows blending in with the shade. AND I'm convinced these things are chasing me to my grave. Garfield |
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| © Copyright 2000 Garfield Green III - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
what can i say?? this is a really good poem.. i give you 2 thumbs up!!! ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Thanks Erin Your comment was very much appreciated. Garfield |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Hey! A good poem!  And then the heart just doesn't stop going cloppety clop! |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very chilly. Look over your shoulder stuff. Nicely written. Catalinamoon |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Interesting poem, I like the idea Take care! |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Taramw Thanks for responding. "Cloppety clop" huh. Interesting. Have you ever been in a situation that was scary, scared by someone, or maybe even a scary dream; and moments after its over you feel as if your heart is about to jump out of your throat. Try to envision this poem that way. Catalinamoon Thanks for dropping in to read. "Very chilly" you think. Imagine if there was a sinister fog covering the land as you walked down a street that is normally crowded with people mingling, but there is no one there but you. Eerie feeling isn't it. LM Thanks for your kind response. I try to be original. Hopefully I've accomplished that with this poem. Garfield |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
I'm afraid I cant think of anything to say that would do this marvelous piece any justice. Please know, though, that I really enjoied it. It's almost haunting... kind of eerie. Great work! "I've fallen asleep, slept so sound. Fallen so fast, I missed the ground" ~Lil OnE~ |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Lil OnE Thanks for dropping in to read. I so happy that you like it. Thanks again for your kind words. Garfield |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
wow this is a cool poem..i loved the way u did that with the five senses..although i can probably successfully argue that the last stanza is the famous "sixth sense" of premonitions ..or maybe its just me? let me know lol...loved the read "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- RLT |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
JnR4eve I meant for all who read to take these as premonitions except the stanza about "tasting fear as a cold sweat; salty." If you've ever worked up a good sweat, I sure a few drops have gotten into your mouth, and it was in-fact salty. I'm so glad that you like the poem. It just came to me one night, and I had to put it on paper. Thanks for responding. Garfield |
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