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Dark Poetry #2
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I've Been There Once Before
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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I've Been There Once Before |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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I've Been There Once Before Simple skin, let me in, let me drink from fountains time. From washed and dried and crispy clean, through avenues of your crime. Allow me cuts of fleshy tone, of pricing by the pound. Of tasteless meats and spoiled grit, I can sense what's been around. I've been hungry for the wishing, for the air of devil's door. With silver ticks and spinning cries, I've been there once before. Your splintered eyes and fading smile, clouding and floundering through. I've been there once before,... yeah,...once with you. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 08-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Scary, dark memories here with this 'person'. Whatever you do don't go 'there' again!!!! LOL A wonderfully dark piece hon  *Our deeds travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are..* ~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~ |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Ooh, I can feel a little bit of anger here. And I can relate to every bit of it. (Big surprise) Take care sandra Words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling, like dew, upon a thought produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions think. Lord Byron |
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. |
I love your word usage. You have a musical, magical tongue (or fingers). I always enjoy your work here and I hope to do so for quite a long time to come! Sing while you may -The Prophet Qa'sepel Your pain is for you alone, As it is, As it was, As it will be forever, Amen -The Prophet Qa'sepel |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Very interesting piece. I really liked "..let me drink of fountains time..." Cool! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Fire this was great. Drew me in again. I loved "I've been hungry for the wishing". But I would have added another syllable to the last line, don't know which one though, you are the one with magic in your words. Maybe yeah,...once with you.Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Thank you all kindly for reading my twisted tongue,...and Kethry, I put in a little dot dot dot for ya.  anytime babe,...just holler! *Peace. |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
Yes a twisted tongue and a loving one also. You do have a way about you kid, I enjoyed this part most. "I can sense what's been around. I've been hungry for the wishing, for the air of devil's door. With silver ticks and spinning cries, I've been there once before." Great work kid as always. Still your cyber dad. with love. Joel I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Spit Fire, I am glad you are not there now my friend. Sounds like a scary place to be. Great writing from you....powerful and so dark. I like it though. Hope to catch up soon my friend. Take care. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
You spit pure magic. Such a great poem. Takes me back ages. Great work. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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