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Moonlight
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Moonlight |
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Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
This a fairly old poem, i am still kind of working with it, any ideas are welcome, thanks Walking under the moonlight Across the silver moonlit grass, I gaze to the stars and think of you, I take a drag of my cigarette and I miss you, As I look at my feet a tear rools down my cheek, I take another drag and think this is my fault, The cold night sends chills down my spine, Reminiscent of your harsh words and painful looks, I look to the sky to find our star, I find it for a moment then it is gone, I take another drag and think of you, Just like the star, here one minute gone the next, As I walk back to my house I begin to cry, I take my last drag and have a moonlit revelation, Maybe it was never my fault, The problem was never me it was you, Blowing smoke out of my nose I look at the stars once more, I flick my smoke into the garden and open the door, Glancing at it burning brings back memories, Looking at our star, I close the door and miss you, I make my way down the front hall, Throwing your coat in the closet, I cry, I slowly stumble out of my shoes, Going up stairs I glance at the door and hope for you, While I crawl into bed I notice you, Your picture is hanging above my head, As I begin to cry I notice a slant of moonlight on the floor, Staring at it I realize it was never my fault [This message has been edited by Ginners (edited 07-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Gin Leigh - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Gin..knowing it isn't your fault helps a bit..but the pain of absence is still there. The poem is fine, the imagery vivid. Correct a couple of typos and leave it alone. Nice job. Hardrock |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
I think only accepting what is ours is the key, it helps us realize we are not to blame for everything. The pain of missing someone though is still profound. A nice job!! Hope our doing ok..Deb1 The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
i corrected the few typos i could find, i prolly missed a few i am kinda bad with spelling to sorry guys |
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DJLI Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 237TN, USA |
wonderful, I don't think you need any help with this at all, you've done a wonderful job! Keep it up. EVEN ANGELS FALL. |
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