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lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

0 posted 2000-07-26 05:36 AM

I'd better stop
If you don't mind
I don't know what
Made me so blind
As to see dots
Where there are lines

I thought I could
See through your mind
I thought you would
Be of my kind

Now all I've got
Is empty hands
That run amok
Like stormy sands
When sense is lost

Eroding my mind
With dots not lines
Making me blind
With wild designs
Making me flee
When I want to stop
Making me scream
When I cannot

Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo

Deborah1
Senior Member

since 2000-06-22

Posts 653
New Hampshire

1 posted 2000-07-26 07:14 AM

I see alot of confusion, a blurred picture, something not as we want it to be...I loved this, very interesting piece, I enjoy your work!!!!

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar

LarBear
Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 138
Kingston, New York

2 posted 2000-07-26 08:03 AM

Ohh I see the relation to the Mirage.
Good way to describe the mirage of the mind.

LarBear

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

3 posted 2000-07-26 10:24 AM

Yes, I see the confusion and pain when things are not as we thought. Expressed perfectly, as always.
Catalinamoon

Hardrock
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

4 posted 2000-07-26 10:35 AM

Uta...I see something lost, emptiness...when discovery leads to disappointment, when familiarity breeds...contempt. Excellent poem. Hardrock

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

5 posted 2000-07-26 02:55 PM

aha! The last two lines:

Making me scream
When I cannot

reminded me of the title of a book by one of my favourite SF authors, Harlan Ellison,
'I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream!'

Interesting poem uta, says a lot (for me) about the confusion and distress I feel when I realise i've totally mis-read someone or something.

Excellent evocation!

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

6 posted 2000-07-26 03:02 PM

~Uta,...perfect lines in this. Holy state of intensifying confusion. Extremely, visually entertaining piece of work. Take care U. *Peace.

Wren
Member

since 2000-07-05

Posts 312

7 posted 2000-07-26 06:59 PM

Cool! I love the dots and lines......what a neat way of putting it! Great job!

-Wren

The thread of destiny
Unknown by anyone
Unseen by anyone
Winds around your heart
Moist with tears
-Vampire Princess Miyu Theme

Portia
Member

since 2000-05-18

Posts 157

8 posted 2000-07-28 06:11 PM

This makes me think of Morse code: a confusion between dots and lines would *definitely* end up in a breakdown of communication. And now I'm seeing a couple of other interpretations as well. Very well done, I love this wide open poetry of yours.

"And one day...the whole stinking world would be theirs..."
-- Velvet Goldmine (Todd Haynes, Oscar Wilde and, unofficially, David Bowie)

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