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Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US

0 posted 2000-07-03 09:39 PM


If Only

If only I could know you
I’ve watched you now so long
If only I could know your name
And know your favorite song

If only I could know you
I see you every day
But any time you look at me
I turn and look away

I wonder if you’ve noticed me
I try hard not to stare
But even if you’ve seen my face
You’ll never see I care

If only I could know you
And you in turn know me
I wonder if there’d be a chance
That you and I could be

If only I could walk right up
And talk to you a while
To say hello and hear your voice
And see what makes you smile

But if that day should ever come
You’ll think it so absurd
That this poor impassioned poet
Is so failed by spoken word


© Copyright 2000 Fred Hobbs - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-07-03 10:18 PM


FredHobbs~
This is just a wonderful submission.

'But if that day should ever come
You’ll think it so absurd
That this poor impassioned poet
Is so failed by spoken word'

Delightfully done.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-07-03 10:22 PM


Fred, a wonderful piece...it is oftentimes so difficult to put one's thoughts to word, especially at such a critical moment! This is grand!

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
3 posted 2000-07-03 10:22 PM


Wonderful, light-hearted read.  Bonnie
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2000-07-03 11:03 PM


Wonderful sir. I'm so glad to see you here!    
~Enigma~
Junior Member
since 2000-07-03
Posts 44
St Cloud, MN
5 posted 2000-07-03 11:14 PM


If only, we could all express such beauty of thought.   Bravo!  P.S.  I'm a huge fan of rhyme and meter.  This is very well done.

Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US
6 posted 2000-07-04 10:10 AM


Thanks all for the kind responses.  I really appreciate the comments.

fh

nona
Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 139
Fla
7 posted 2000-07-04 11:00 AM


Well put... just one thing though
keep in mind that sometimes
you don't need words
to express you feelings.

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
8 posted 2000-07-05 08:13 AM


Fred you have expressed yourself well here. I know how you feel alot of the time it's much easier to write what you feel rather than say it out loud...well done Fred  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
9 posted 2000-07-05 10:38 AM


Well done Fred. The last stanza particularly tells it all.

Thanks,
Pete

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2000-07-05 10:44 AM


Fred,
Enjoyed very much, you got my vote.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2000-07-05 12:47 PM


this gentle sweet poem really touched me
wonderful tenderly expressed emotions here.
take care
jm

What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly
~LaoTzeTao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
12 posted 2000-07-05 01:53 PM


Two thumbs up!

A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2000-07-05 04:44 PM


Awesome..
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

14 posted 2000-07-05 05:18 PM


yep, the ending on this makes it   great poem
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2000-07-05 09:50 PM


Fantastic, Fred! It's great to see you here! I'm glad I get a chance to vote for something of yours, and something soooo good!

Denise

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
16 posted 2000-07-06 12:33 PM


Fun
Fantastic
Freethinking
Fulfilling
Frisky
Fond
Fiery
Fervent
Fancy
Fabulous
Faithful
First Rate
Fred!

lol ok enough thesaurus aerobics!
Great poem...Doreen's reply made me reply like this....*pointing finger*

~Heather

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
17 posted 2000-07-22 08:40 PM


Fred...after reading your last posting "Diana" I simply had to see if you had any other submissions here. This is another fine poem and so worth my vote. Many a poet has felt this way, powerful with the written word but clueless when it comes to the spoken kind. I find it so easy to write my feelings at times and yet so hard to speak them at others
Heather Miller
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409
Bryan, Ohio USA
18 posted 2000-07-24 10:41 AM


Very romantic I think. One day you'll get the nerve up and talk to this person  
When you do the words will come on there own just like in your writting.
LITL,
Heather


With God all things are possible.

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2000-07-24 10:47 AM


This is superb Fred!  What a wonderful flow ... and the closing was simply perfect!  So easy for a poet to write ... and yet so difficult to speak! Loved this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

20 posted 2000-07-25 11:18 PM


nicely written.  add a vote.
jamesjiao
Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268
Backwaters of Avalon
21 posted 2000-07-25 11:40 PM


True emotions eh? Sometimes we draw ourselves back at from the thoughts of doing certain things that we've never done. Talk to her and at least, she can be your friend.

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.



Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
22 posted 2000-07-26 10:15 AM


Fred, I like this one too. It is only too true.

Thanks,
Pete

Geoffrey Sonnen
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142
Reading, PA USA
23 posted 2000-07-26 12:44 PM


Very well thought out and written. I used to be pretty shy, so I can relate to this. You have my vote on this.

Peace, Geoffrey

michellemckee
Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49
Tucson, AZ
24 posted 2000-07-26 08:52 PM


Wonderful poem. I too have found myself afraid to take a chance. You express that so well. You have my vote!

Dance like no one's watching.
Love like it's never going to hurt.
If it does hurt, shoot em! <Grin>

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
25 posted 2000-08-01 01:11 AM


I enjoyed this.  Amazing how easy written words come out compared to spoken ones.  

Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"


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