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If Only |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
If Only If only I could know you I’ve watched you now so long If only I could know your name And know your favorite song If only I could know you I see you every day But any time you look at me I turn and look away I wonder if you’ve noticed me I try hard not to stare But even if you’ve seen my face You’ll never see I care If only I could know you And you in turn know me I wonder if there’d be a chance That you and I could be If only I could walk right up And talk to you a while To say hello and hear your voice And see what makes you smile But if that day should ever come You’ll think it so absurd That this poor impassioned poet Is so failed by spoken word |
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| © Copyright 2000 Fred Hobbs - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
FredHobbs~ This is just a wonderful submission. 'But if that day should ever come You’ll think it so absurd That this poor impassioned poet Is so failed by spoken word' Delightfully done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Fred, a wonderful piece...it is oftentimes so difficult to put one's thoughts to word, especially at such a critical moment! This is grand! ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Wonderful, light-hearted read. Bonnie |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful sir. I'm so glad to see you here!  |
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~Enigma~ Junior Member
since 2000-07-03
Posts 44St Cloud, MN |
If only, we could all express such beauty of thought. Bravo! P.S. I'm a huge fan of rhyme and meter. This is very well done. |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Thanks all for the kind responses. I really appreciate the comments. fh |
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nona Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 139Fla |
Well put... just one thing though keep in mind that sometimes you don't need words to express you feelings. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Fred you have expressed yourself well here. I know how you feel alot of the time it's much easier to write what you feel rather than say it out loud...well done Fred  Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well done Fred. The last stanza particularly tells it all. Thanks, Pete |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Fred, Enjoyed very much, you got my vote. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this gentle sweet poem really touched me wonderful tenderly expressed emotions here. take care jm What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Two thumbs up! A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Awesome..  |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
yep, the ending on this makes it great poem |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Fantastic, Fred! It's great to see you here! I'm glad I get a chance to vote for something of yours, and something soooo good! Denise |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Fun Fantastic Freethinking Fulfilling Frisky Fond Fiery Fervent Fancy Fabulous Faithful First Rate Fred! lol ok enough thesaurus aerobics! Great poem...Doreen's reply made me reply like this....*pointing finger*  ~Heather |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Fred...after reading your last posting "Diana" I simply had to see if you had any other submissions here. This is another fine poem and so worth my vote. Many a poet has felt this way, powerful with the written word but clueless when it comes to the spoken kind. I find it so easy to write my feelings at times and yet so hard to speak them at others |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
Very romantic I think. One day you'll get the nerve up and talk to this person When you do the words will come on there own just like in your writting. LITL, Heather With God all things are possible. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is superb Fred! What a wonderful flow ... and the closing was simply perfect! So easy for a poet to write ... and yet so difficult to speak! Loved this! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
nicely written. add a vote. |
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jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
True emotions eh? Sometimes we draw ourselves back at from the thoughts of doing certain things that we've never done. Talk to her and at least, she can be your friend. - James The beauty of nature is displayed, not through itself, but through the creatures dwelling within its bosom. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Fred, I like this one too. It is only too true. Thanks, Pete |
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Geoffrey Sonnen Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142Reading, PA USA |
Very well thought out and written. I used to be pretty shy, so I can relate to this. You have my vote on this. Peace, Geoffrey |
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michellemckee Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49Tucson, AZ |
Wonderful poem. I too have found myself afraid to take a chance. You express that so well. You have my vote! Dance like no one's watching. Love like it's never going to hurt. If it does hurt, shoot em! <Grin> |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I enjoyed this. Amazing how easy written words come out compared to spoken ones. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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